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“You put up a camera, too? Have you seen anything?” I can’t help my eagerness.
“No.” Her hands drop and her shoulders sink. “I haven’t caught anything. Which makes me think…”
But she doesn’t finish that sentence.
Instead, her eyes dart over to me.
“What about you? Have you seen…anything?”
I swallow, forcing myself to tell the truth and the whole truth.
“Once I saw you running downstairs for a glass of water…without any clothes.”
Remi’s eyes widen by a few degrees. She breathes slowly through her nose.
“And…I waited and watched you go upstairs again,” I admit. “And then jerked off afterward.”
Remi takes steady breaths, her face deeply pink.
I can’t gauge her exact level of rage. All I can hope is that she’ll forgive me.
At last, with steely calm, she says, “What gives you the right to put a camera in my house?”
“I have no right. And no excuse. All I can say is I’m sorry.”
Remi sways slightly on her feet. She’s pale as chalk, and there’s a nasty scrape across her forehead. I’d like to kill that sheriff all over again, and his buddies, too.
Low and quiet, she asks, “Why did you do it?”
“Because I’m worried about you.”
That’s the plain and simple truth. And I’m praying she can see it, or feel it, or simply know it to be true.
“I care about you, Remi. I think someone’s trying to hurt you, and I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect you.”
Her butterfly eyes search my face. She wants to believe me, but I haven’t given her enough consistency. I haven’t earned her trust.
She looks at me with so much longing, but her eyes fill with tears.
“How can I believe anything you say when you’ve lied to me?”
That fucking cuts me, but it’s true…I have lied to her.
“You’re right,” I spread my hands, wishing with all my heart I could take back every shitty thing I’ve done to Remi since the moment I met her. “I was an asshole when we met. I fucked with you and misled you. I didn’t expect to develop feelings for you. I sure as hell didn’t expect you to develop feelings for me. If I could go back and do it all from the beginning, you’d see how differently I’d treat you. But I can’t. So let me tell you again,I’m sorry. I’ll never lie to you again. And I’m not asking you to believe me—I’ll prove it to you. Watch how I treat you today and every day moving forward…let me prove that I can love you like you deserve.”
I hadn’t meant to use that word at the end, but when it comes out, it feels exactly right…
I love her.
I knew it when I followed her around all night, watching the funny expressions on her face, hearing that loud, cackling laugh, observing her terrible dancing…I knew that I was watching my most precious, favorite person—the only person who’s brought me happiness in years…my perfectly imperfect Remi.
And I knew it for certain when I saw her lying on the ground, bloodied and outnumbered but still fighting. That was the first time in my life I’ve felt the urge not just to fight but to kill. Because I knew I’d do anything to save her.
“I love you,” I say to Remi.
Her mouth opens in shock.
“I love your work drive and your stubbornness. I love how you understand me and how hard you work to understand yourself. I love that you’re brave, and you’re bold, and you want the truth…”
