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It’s possible that the entire thing is a performance. Probable, even.
But in that moment, I make a dangerous choice:
I pretend it’s entirely real.
I look up into Sully’s eyes and let myself pretend, just for a minute, that the warmth on his face, his excitement, his hands still gripping my arms, are one hundred percent genuine.I pretend that Sullivan loves me desperately, and three hours apart really did make him ache to see me.
I’ve never tried heroin, but the oxytocin that floods my body as I look up into his dark eyes has got to be the exact same thing. The moment I give in, I already know I’m lost. Say no to drugs, kids…just one hit can hook you forever.
I say, “I missed you, too.”
And something even worse happens—I realize I’m not lying. Not even exaggerating.
I missed Sully and I’m ridiculously happy to see him.
The smell of his skin and his shaving cream is giving me dopamine. The devilish look on his face makes my mind race. I’m suddenly jealous that I’m not going on his outing with Angus because I love watching Sullivan work.
And even though I know the whole damn office is watching and this is entirely inappropriate, I seize his face in my hands and kiss him. I kiss him because I want to. Because Ineedto. And this might be my only chance.
Sullivan’s arms go around my back. His hands slip into my hair. Our bodies press together.
It’s only a few seconds, but the passion, the intensity, is all out of proportion. When we split apart, Sullivan is flushed, my heart is racing, and Martinique hoots at us.
“Do you two have an OnlyFans? I’m ready to sign up.”
“Sorry,” I say, embarrassed. I’m not sure if I’m apologizing to my colleagues or to Sullivan.
The expression on Angus’ face is hard to read. He looks fixated, upset, but something else as well…something that almost looks like longing.
I don’t think Angus is attracted to me, not in any serious way—he’s always treated me like a peon, not a prospect. But I’m beginning to think that he’s powerfully jealous all the same.Not of me, exactly, but of what he thinks exists between me and Sullivan.
It’s the one thing he’s never had—someone who actually adores him.
“Whew.” Sully pretends to wipe his forehead. “Remind me to visit you at lunch more often.”
“I wish you would.” I lay my hands on his chest in a ridiculously soppy way.
I’m playing it up for Angus, but also, I’ve jumped all the way in the deep end. I tell myself I’m method acting while I gaze up at Sully like I love him. While I take deep, head-spinning breaths of his cologne.
This is fine. This is totally okay. Just a couple more breaths…
“Alright, break it up,” Angus snipes. “Time to go.”
“See you tonight,” Sully says, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and giving me one last quick kiss on the cheek. Only then does he turn his full attention to Angus. “I’ve got some great places lined up.”
“I hope so. The ones Corgus showed me were shit. Sloppy seconds from Bezos? Kill me first.”
Sully catches my eye and gives me an approving wink. I almost explode with pride.
When they’re gone, Martinique grabs my arm in both hands. “Yeah, I’m definitely going out with the brother. Identical, you said? Like, all the way down?”
“Reese is a little messier.”
“Perfect,” Martinique says serenely. “I’m a fucking slob.”
Sully warnedme that he’d probably be out late with Angus, so I drive myself home after work and start planning dinner for what will probably only be Merrick and me—Reese is out at a casting.
I find Merrick shirtless and filthy in the bottom of the pool, a huge pile of weeds tossed up along the rim. I change clothes into something scrubbier and drop down to help him.
