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I didn’t even thank her. I was in such shock that I just stumbled down that lit path, the one I’d been so enamored with earlier.
Now, it felt like an emergency exit, and I was definitely in crisis.
I found Molly’s car with little difficulty. I’d seen her around town enough that I knew what it looked like. My hands were shaky, and my eyes were teary. I started the engine, and I pulled out of the packed driveway.
Where to now?
I had no plan. None.
So, I just started driving.
I drove down street after street. Turn after turn.
I didn’t think. I just focused on the street signs, the road, and my speed.
Finally, I ran out of road. I was on an island after all.
I pulled into the ferry terminal and shut off the engine. The parking lot was empty. In the distance, the inky-black water glistened under the moonlight.
I opened the car door and took a step outside.
The wind rushed up and tossed my hair. It was cold but quiet. I took a few steps toward the ocean. A light caught my attention, and I turned to see the memorial out in the distance, standing tall along the shoreline.
Maybe I hadn’t been driving around aimlessly after all.
There was a long path that connected the terminal and the memorial, and I slipped off my shoes to walk it. My steps slowed as I reached the base. From afar, it looked so much smaller.
As I stood in front of it, it was quite impressive.
Aiden was a talented artist.
Flowers and small trinkets and mementos surrounded it. Some of the bouquets were new. Some were wilted and old. I noticed a few notes stuffed wherever there was a crevice or a space.
It made it so real.
So, so real.
And there, among the names, I saw it.
Daniel Mendez.
I heaved a sob and felt the tears fall from my eyes.
“Sometimes, I think it’s easier for me to try and forget you were ever here,” I said, hating myself for even admitting it. “I think that’s why I’ve been avoiding coming here. Because then I have to confront all the ugly memories of you I’ve tried to forget.”
I sat down next to the memorial, for once not caring if the dress got dirty. That was what dry cleaners were for.
“When I think of you here with me, I think of that phone call and…” My words faded as my head fell back on the cold stone.
“I thought coming back here would be hard, but I think this is where I’m supposed to be.” A ghost of a smile spread across my lips. “You always said the island life looked good on me.”
My thoughts turned to Macon.
“I didn’t think I could ever love anyone the way I loved you.” I looked up at the stars and felt my eyes close. “When you died, I felt like that part of me died with you.”
For years, I’d been going through the motions. I’d said yes to that date with Curtis, hoping that my heart would open up to someone.
But friendship was not love and I’d inadvertently put my life on pause.
