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“Are you saying that you haven’t orgasmed? In two years?”
“Well, technically, five. But yes.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” She seemed angry.
“Are you mad? At me?”
“What? No! Maybe a little that you didn’t tell me. I could have bought you a vibrator or given you some tips or something.”
“Oh my God.”
“But, no,” she said. “I’m mad at Curtis. Two years? I mean, shit. Chad and I didn’t ever have fireworks, but even we managed to get each other off.”
Well, okay.
“We don’t—” I huffed. “We don’t have sex that often. I think it was just another one of those things Curtis figured we’d work out later.” But relationships didn’t work like that. You couldn’t tally up your problems like a to-do list.
“No wonder you panicked when he proposed. God, Marin, why didn’t you tell me all this before?”
“I was embarrassed.”
“There is nothing to be embarrassed about,” she insisted. “You lost your husband. Did you really expect it to be that easy?”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. I’d fallen in love with the first man I’d ever dated. I hadn’t really known what to expect. I never thought I’d have to do this.
She let out a huff. “Have you ever considered that you and Curtis simply aren’t compatible—in that way? That maybe there’s just no physical spark?”
I rolled my eyes. “Sometimes,” I answered. “I guess I just tried to tell myself there was more to a relationship than that.”
“Well, sure,” she agreed. “But, don’t you want more? I mean, I used to share an apartment with you. I know that kind of relationship you and Daniel had and it was not boring. I have nightmares because of the things I heard.”
I snorted. “You do not.”
“I do, too. You guys were loud. So damn loud. You try sleeping while your brother is moaning your best friend’s name down the hall. Fucking gross.”
I closed my eyes, remembering lazy Sundays in bed, when there had been nothing to do but live in each other’s arms.
“God, I miss him,” I said softly.
“Yeah,” she said. “Me, too. Look,” she said. “I can’t tell you what to do when it comes to Curtis—only you know what to do. But it sounds to me like you’ve already made up your mind. I think part of you already knew the second you decided to go back to Ocracoke.”
I pressed my lips together, trying to keep my emotions in check.
“So, maybe it’s a good thing he showed up. You can finally give him an answer.”
“I don’t think it’ll be the answer he’s hoping for.” My nerves twisted in a knot.
“No,” she agreed. “But it’s the one he deserves. You’re not the only one who needs to move on.”
And she was right. He might not see it now, but he deserved someone who would scream yes from the rooftop the second he dropped to one knee.
And that wasn’t me.
We started to say our good-byes, and I heard that telltale yawn of hers. I started to settle back on the bed, and I knew I couldn’t let her go just quite yet.
Because if I was confessing things tonight…
“I kissed Hot Cop!” The words tumbled out of my mouth so quickly that I wasn’t sure she understood.
