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“I don’t know that I’ll call her.”
“Okay, okay, I get it. I really do. You might need more time. Sure. But the way I see it, you’re avoiding fun, avoiding life.”
“Oh, give me a break. I am not.”
Her friend’s knowing eyes narrowed. “Fine. Truth time. I’m worried about you. Okay? And so are Sarah and Jess.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Will you?”
“Yes! Jesus.” She stood suddenly. “Let’s just pay the bill and go.”
“Why?” Bella demanded. “Do you have a million things to do?”
“Yeah, yeah, I do,” she lied. “I’m late on a deadline.”
“It’ll wait.”
“I need to let the dog out.”
Bella’s eyebrows drew together. “Really? I thought . . . didn’t your dog . . . Geez, Kristi, you don’t have to lie.”
“I didn’t mean . . .” She let the sentence fall away and didn’t argue, because of course right now she had no dog. All of the pets that she and Jay had adopted had passed on. “Sorry.”
“If you don’t want to go, just say so. What’s with you? You never were one to make excuses or lie, for God’s sake.”
“Okay, okay. You caught me. It’s not that I don’t want to go, it’s just that right now . . . I just can’t.”
Bella flipped a hand up as if to say, “Whatever.” And then she said, “It’s whatever you want, Kristi. Who am I to try to talk you out of living the rest of your life as a monk, er, a nun?” Her eyebrows arched. “Just your best frickin’ friend. But, hey! Go! Go on. Get out. Go home.” She made shooing motions with her hands. “Hole up in your house by yourself if that’s what you want.”
“I do. Itisexactly what I want.”
“Fine!” Then Bella calmed a bit. “Look, you just survived a horrific attack and lost your husband, watched him die in your arms, for God’s sake. That’s . . . that’s unthinkable. Horrific. The worst! But even so, there’s so much to life, so much to live for.”
Kristi’s eyes grew hot. She thought of the baby. Her baby. Jay’s. Growing inside her. “I’ll be fine,” she insisted, and her voice sounded rough. “I know I’ve got some things to work through, but . . . but I’ll be fine.” She was on the edge of telling her friend about her pregnancy, but didn’t. It seemed traitorous somehow, that Bella Lyons would know the truth and Jay wouldn’t. Not ever.
Of course she would have to tell Bella—or someone—soon enough, she thought as she pulled her debit card from her wallet. But not today.
Definitelynottoday.
“Look, Jess and Sarah and I, we’re thinking of starting jogging. Like at least once a week, maybe more. You already run, right? So why don’t you join us?”
“I’ll think about it,” she lied. Right now, she couldn’t think of anything worse than getting together with her friends and doing anything where there would be hours to talk about their lives, their husbands, their children, their joy. Not yet.
“And you know, if you ever want to do a show, promote your next book or whatever? The producer at the station is interested.” Bella looked hopeful, as she always did. Though she sold ads for the station, she seemed to think it her mission to find guests for the local talk shows. This wasn’t the first time Bella had suggested Kristi make herself available for a television interview.
Today, Kristi wasn’t in the mood. “Another time.”
“Promise?”
Kristi shot her a look. “No. But if I ever consider it, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Cool,” she said, though the way Bella muttered it, Kristi was pretty sure her response to the offer was anything but chill with her friend.
They split the bill and hugged good-bye, but there was definitely a stiffness to the embrace that had never been there before. “You take care of yourself, okay?” Bella asked as she released her. “And you call me, or text, if you need anything. I mean it.Anything.”
“Sure. You got it,” Kristi lied, and holding her jacket tight against the wind, hurried back to the spot where she’d parked her car, just off the French Quarter. She passed open-air shops and galleries and eyed the neon sign for a psychic. Glowing yellow letters over a blue crescent moon.
