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I climbed onto my bike and pulled up the kickstand.
“Where are you going?” she yelled.
“I’m going to get my clothes. Get ready. I’ll be back in thirty minutes, and then we can leave.”
“I said no, Aiken!”
I shrugged, cranking my engine and revving it. “And I don’t care what you said,” I yelled over the sound of my engine.
I pulled away and went to my place to pack a few things. I had never driven across the country before, but I packed enough for at least a week. It was going to be hell stuck in a small car with Everly for so long, but I would never forgive myself if she went out on her own, and something terrible happened to her.
Over my dead body would she ever get hurt again.
29 Everly
AIKEN DROVE, AND I WAS RELIEVEDI didn’t have to. Driving back and forth to work and school was nothing compared to driving across the country.
Without him in the car, I would have had panic attacks across the United States. I was sure the Valium in my purse wouldn’t have prevented those attacks, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me.
So, while I was annoyed that he was there, I was thankful. I didn’t want to be alone. Since Will’s assault, I had been having attacks and nightmares. I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like someone was chasing me and screaming at the top of my lungs. I was sure Zada and her dad were getting annoyed with me, but it wasn’t like I could help it.
Spreading Dad’s ashes became the thing that kept me sane when my brain tried to make me remember what Will had almost done to me. It didn’t matter whether I was at school or work, the memories would rush over me, and I would have to take a minute to talk myself down from freaking out.
I considered filing charges several times but decided against it. It was too much to even think about much less talk about. Instead, I tried to push the thoughts and memories down and drown them with classwork and anything else I could do to keep myself busy.
It was going to be weird spreading Dad’s ashes without Erik, but I couldn’t put it off any longer. There was no telling how long he was going to be locked up. I wasn’t sure if he would be upset that I spread Dad’s ashes without him, but he wasn’t concerned about how upset I was when I was kicked out of the house, and he didn’t call to check on me.
I fell asleep thirty minutes after we pulled away. I hadn’t been sleeping well, and car rides always made me tired. When I woke, he was pulling off the interstate for gas.
Our first stop was in Birmingham, Alabama. He pumped gas while I ran inside to use the restroom. I gave him the money for gas, but he used his debit card instead and shoved my money in the center console.
When I got back in the car, I saw the money sitting there.
“I can pay for this trip. I appreciate it, but I got this,” I said when he got back into the car.
He nodded, ignoring what I was saying and putting on his seatbelt.
“Do you want me to take over driving?” I asked.
“No. I’ll let you know when I’m tired of driving.”
I agreed, but I had an inkling he wouldn’t get tired any time during the trip. He was a take-charge type of man, and while sometimes that was super aggravating, this time, I was fine letting him take over.
“Are you ready to tell me yet?” he asked once we got back on the interstate.
I sighed and looked out the window. The world flew by in a blur of colors and lines.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Telling Aiken would stir the pot. There was no telling what he would do. He had already burst into my house once, and that was over a bag of pills. I hoped he cared about me more than drugs, and if he did, I had a feeling he would destroy the place. I couldn’t even think about what he would do to Will.
My mom had turned on me—chosen a guy over me—but even though it hurt, she was still my mom. I didn’t want to hurt her, and I didn’t want Aiken to explode into her life. I would keep it to myself and move past it. He hadn’t gotten far enough to rape me, not that it made it any less traumatic, but if my mom didn’t believe me before, she wasn’t going to believe me about this.
Aiken’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel, the tattoos on his fingers stretching. I looked at his profile, his jaw flexing as he ground his teeth together.
“I’m sorry. I just want to forget it,” I said, feeling bad that I wasn’t giving him what he wanted.
He turned my way, his green eyes glowing as he scanned my face. Then his eyes went wide as if something just occurred to him, and his expression shifted. He put on the blinker and moved into the slow lane before pulling onto the shoulder.
