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“What are you doing?” I asked, feeling anxious as cars flew by us going at high rates of speed.
“Were you raped?”
I gasped at the word.
He looked away and squeezed his eyes closed. He gripped the steering wheel so hard I worried it would snap.
“Everly, please tell me that much. Did someone touch you, baby?”
I was learning that I liked it when he called me baby. It was soft and sweet, and I had the feeling no one else saw that side of him. I loved being the only person to know gentle Aiken.
“Almost,” I whispered, tears breaking from my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.
“Almost,” he repeated the word.
“He passed out before he could.”
His eyes connected with mine, and for the first time since I met him, I saw pain in his gaze. He looked as if he were seconds away from crying, and I felt the need to soothe his pain.
“I’m okay. I promise.”
He unhooked his seatbelt, leaned across the console, and pulled me into his arms. I sighed, feeling the protection of his arms around me and knowing that as much as I didn’t want to think about it, I was falling in love with him.
It scared me. Once you cared about someone, you gave them the ability to destroy you, and as many times as Aiken had pulled away from me, I knew I couldn’t let myself get close with him.
I couldn’t stop the feelings. I couldn’t make them go away. Even staying away from him didn’t work. It was the way he made me feel—the way he fought me at every turn and pushed me. It was the ability he had to abolish a panic attack just by being in the room. He was better than my prescription. My anxiety didn’t stand a chance against him.
My pain.
My sadness.
When Aiken was there with me, everything else went away, and nothing else mattered.
I leaned into him, breathing him in and feeling safe for the first time since the last time he held me. I knew in the back of my mind putting that much faith in another person wasn’t smart, but at that moment I didn’t care. I only wanted to dissolve into him or, at the very least, draw in his warmth and comfort.
He pulled back and captured my cheeks in his palms.
“No one will ever hurt you again,” he promised.
I nodded, trusting and believing him, as more tears dripped down my cheeks and into his hands.
He intertwined our fingers after he pulled onto the interstate. Our hands rested on the center console, and he mindlessly caressed the side of my hand with his rough thumb. He held my hand like it was the most natural thing in the world.
I wasn’t sure what was going on between the two of us, but I didn’t want to overthink it. For all I knew, he would change his mind within the hour. He tended to do that when it came to me.
We stopped in Little Rock for the night and got a room with two queens even though I told him I had planned to sleep in the car. I had enough saved for gas and food, but one night in a hotel room would take up most of my savings.
“I got this,” he had said, taking control once again.
My tab to Aiken was slowly getting out of control, but I was determined to pay him back someday.
I took my bag inside, which had everything in it, including Dad’s urn. After being in the car for eight hours, I wanted a hot shower and something to nibble on. I had packs of crackers and bottled waters in my bag, and I couldn’t wait to tear into those once I was clean.
“Do you want the shower first?” I asked.
“No, go ahead.”
“Are you sure?”
