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Lenna looks down. In a primal instinct, she is holding her son even closer than before. There’s a sour taste in her mouth, too.
They stay still a few minutes longer until the boars drift away. Then Rhiannon turns back to her. “So what were you saying? Do I remember…what?”
Lenna slumps her shoulders, drained and cowardly. “Never mind,” she says. “Can we go back? I’ve seen enough.”
8
Lenna
June
Two years before
That June, work was busy. They were putting out a double issue, the first of its kind, full of celebrity half stories and alleged tales that skirted the line between fact and fiction. (Lawyers on staff made sure they weren’t constantly being sued.) Lenna reviewed page after page, barely having time for lunch. She had dreams of the actors and singers and influencers and other random rich people the magazine profiled, inserting herself on yachts and at parties and—her favorite dreams—on girls’ trips. Rhiannon was always in those dreams, too. Lenna also dreamed of pitching in a little, writing-wise. A text box? A roundup of outrageous quotes? She didn’t care. But in real life, Rhiannon said that Lenna was needed in copy at the moment—her hookup would come later. Lenna tried to be patient, she really did, but she felt she could do both. She tried to push down any resentment and frustration.
One morning, Lenna appeared in Rhiannon’s doorway at work when Rhiannon was on the phone. Rhiannon had a look that was so guarded Lenna hurried away, flushed and embarrassed. Shetold herself she was being too needy, but later, Rhiannon stopped by her cubicle, repentant.
“Sorry about that. Work’s just so stressful, you know? Everyone’s breathing down my neck.”
“No worries,” Lenna replied.
Later that day, she asked if Rhiannon could see a movie with her or meet for drinks. She was feeling particularly lonely, and the idea of going back to her quiet apartment with its one dark window and the paltry take-out options depressed her. But Rhiannon shook her head and said, once again, that she couldn’t. More work. Too much work. Disappointed, Lenna did something that surprised her: She emailed Frederick asking if he’d like to check out the movie instead.
They’d talked a little more by then. It was usually just passing pleasantries in the break room—Frederick, too, was busy with the double issue. But Lenna knew for a fact—she had copy edited his pieces—that his job on the issue was done, so he might have some free time.
She regretted the email the moment she hit send. What dork sends an email to someone who sits across the room? She should have just gotten up and asked him. Or, better yet, not asked at all. Lenna had never dated, not really. Certainly not in high school. A friend from yearbook asked her to prom, and they all went out to a mediocre steakhouse beforehand, but in the end he had barely paid any attention to her. There were random hookups with a boy who lived two doors down from her in her college dorms, but she’d always suspected she was the closest option, and willing, and he didn’t even have to get out of bed. When her mom was sick, a hospital cafeteria manager asked her to drinks. William. He’d been nice. But she’d said no, the timing wasn’t right.
And she’d certainly neveraskedanyone on a date. She started to panic. But then, a response came:Sure. Give me ten.
Lenna’s heart banged giddily as she and Frederick rode the elevator down together. The movie theater was within walking distance—miraculous, for LA—so they didn’t have to face the awkwardness of whose car they would take. Frederick was a bubbling fountain of conversation. He talked about behind-the-scenes stuff he’d done to get his stories atCity Gossip,including calling up a star’s assistant and pretending he was the star’s distant cousin. “And they bought it!” he cried. “I got a ton of dirt from her about the actress. It was amazing.” Then he stared down at himself. “God. Listen to me.”
“Do you feel bad, lying like that?” Lenna asked.
“For that sort of story? Not really, honest. But for other things—yeah. It’s why I never take the stories about people’s breakups or their kids, I only do fluffy ones that don’t really matter. Like what sorts of workouts influencers do, or if they ever fly commercial.”
“I think that’s where I’d have to draw the line, too,” Lenna agreed, liking his answer. “Gossiping about something that could hurt someone—that seems like too much. Like what Rhiannon had to deal with, with her mom.”
“What happened with Rhiannon’s mom?” Frederick asked, a strange look crossing his face.
Lenna’s chest fizzed. “Sorry, nothing.”
She couldn’t believe she’d nearly broken Rhiannon’s confidence about her past. She’d never asked about it again, and Rhiannon never volunteered, not since that day she confessed.
Lenna had looked up the crash information just once. She swore Rhiannon said the story had been covered in the news, but she couldn’t find the specific incident. There was a Google hit about a woman driving her children off a bridge and the dates matched up, but when she clicked on it, the local newspaper site said that story couldn’t be found. Like someone had taken it down, maybe.
“You’re friends with Rhiannon, huh?” Frederick added, breaking Lenna from her thoughts.
“Good friends,” Lenna said, smiling. “She’s the best.”
But when she looked over at Frederick, she caught him grimacing. It almost seemed like he wanted to say something. But then they were at the theater. She decided to put it out of her mind.
As they stood in line to buy tickets and candy, Frederick glanced at her sheepishly. “So this is going to make me sound cheap, but I brought my own snacks from the office. Only…you might not find them at a concession stand.”
Lenna asked what they were, and he opened his backpack to reveal dried squid from the Korean market down the street. Lenna laughed. “I love that, too, actually. But…”
“…Worried we’ll be caught…” He eyed the street. “We don’thaveto see the movie.”
And so they left. They walked the empty streets, through West Hollywood and up to Sunset. They ate dried squid and laughed. Lenna felt like she was floating. Maybe thiswasa date. Who knew it could be so easy? Why hadn’t she done this sooner? Why hadn’t she andFrederickdone this sooner?
