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Nothing happened between them that night—not exactly. There was the occasional brush of their hands, which made Lenna’s heart rate spike each time it occurred. It wasfun,though—and promising. And after they said their good-byes, Lenna was bursting to tell Rhiannon. But when she called her that night, Rhiannon didn’t answer. The next day, Lenna dressed carefully for work, excited to see Frederick. She felt on top of the world.
When she got to the office, Frederick wasn’t in. Lenna beelined to Rhiannon’s office instead.
“Guess who I went out with last night because someone was busy?” she teased, swinging her hips back and forth.
Rhiannon looked up. Her expression was strange—weary, unnerved, distracted. There were circles under her eyes. “Who?”
“Frederick.”
Rhiannon’s skin grew ashy.“Why?”
“Because…I…” Lenna frowned. “I told you I kind of had a crush.”
Rhiannon blinked hard. In the hallway, someone passed carrying a very pungent cup of chai. Lenna’s friend grabbed her office pass. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Out on the street, Rhiannon walked with a hunch. Her phone kept pinging. “What’s going on?” Lenna asked, feeling totally deflated. She thought Rhiannon would be excited for her. “What’s wrong with Frederick? We had fun.”
“He’s not right for you.”
“What?Why?”
Rhiannon stabbed at the walk button at the corner. Her mouth a tight line.
“I don’t understand,” Lenna said, heart sinking. “Why?”
“Just leave it alone,” Rhiannon said. “Take my word for it.”
“You can’t tell me anything else?”
“Lenna…” Rhiannon rubbed her temples. “I’m exhausted right now, okay?”
They turned back for the office in silence. Lenna felt tears in her eyes that she didn’t understand. When they were almost back to the building, it was like there was a pressure mounting inside her.
“I’m sorry, but this is really bothering me,” she blurted. “You’re being so weird. I thought you would be happy.”
“Lenna.” Rhiannon shut her eyes. “I can’t deal with this right now.”
Lenna slapped her sides in frustration. Rhiannon was speaking to her like she was a child. Was that how she saw her?“Frederick knows editors at other magazines, too. He wants to help me get my foot in the door.” She breathed in to say something else. She was terrified to say what she was really thinking, and yet shewantedto say it. She went for it, under her breath: “At leastsomeoneis making an effort.”
Rhiannon rounded on her. “What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t think I have your back?”
“You alwayssayit, but it certainly doesn’t seem that way.” Lenna’s heart banged. “You keep saying you’ll introduce me to the writers, but it’s always tomorrow, and then tomorrow. Maybe you don’t want me to write. I mean, I’m sure that’s not what you’reintending,but it’s what itfeelslike sometimes.”
Rhiannon’s mouth dropped open. Lenna wondered if she’d gone too far. “Okay, first of all, I’ve never held you back from meeting other writers. If you want to talk to them,talk to them.Why do you need me? Don’t accuse me of standing in your way or being manipulative.”
“I’m not saying yourealizeyou’re doing it.” Lenna felt her shoulders pulling in, her body getting smaller, taking up less space. “It’s just…sometimes…I feel like you want everything to stay exactly the way it is now.”
“I got you thisjob,Lenna. Does that mean nothing?”
“I know. A-and I’m grateful. But—you know, I thought it was going to be a writing job.”
“It’s not my fault they hired someone else the day before your interview!” Rhiannon cried. “Are you seriously mad about that?”
“I know it’s not your fault. But…well, that’s why I want to talk to some of the other writers. And I was excited about Frederick. And you just…” She took a breath. “I’m wondering why you took the wind out of my sails.”
Rhiannon closed her eyes. Then her hands started to shake. Her breathing became sharp and labored.
“Hey,” Lenna said. “Are you all right?”
