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As you can see, she did not have an easy upbringing, and her teenage years were even more fraught with unease as Queen Calliphe sent Sera out to commit unspeakable acts of violence for even the most minor perceived slights.
But let’s get back to when things all changed. Leading up to her seventeenth birthday, she was already undergoing training with the Mistresses of the Jade, was better in combat than a lot of the guards, and kept at arm’s length because of her Chosen Maiden status. All of this contributed to her growing anxiety, which she desperately tried to control with breathing exercises.
As I mentioned before, on her seventeenth birthday, she was readied for presentation to be offered to the Primal of Death as his Consort as a way to honor the deal struck between the Primal and King Roderick Mierel some two hundred years before Sera’s birth.
Lady Kala leads Sera to three Shadow Priests, who take her to a circular chamber to be presented to the Primal. They summon him, and Sera feels real terror when he arrives. However, as she’s been trained to do, she smiles shyly and goes to kneel in supplication, only he suddenly comes before her. He feels cold to her, and that coldness only grows as he leans in and tells her that he has no need of a Consort. Just as quickly as he arrived, he’s gone. At first, she feels relief at being left behind, but then panic flares—and rightfully so. The next three years would be ever so dreadful for dear Sera.
Despite it not being her fault at all, she’s blamed by all—her mother one of the worst—and it shatters and shrivels something inside her, changing her irrevocably.
The Priests present her on each of her next three birthdays, but the Primal of Death never shows himself again. I later discovered they never actually summoned Nyktos.
In her twentieth year, Sera’s mother orders her to show some Lords of the Vodina Isles what a hot piece she is—something crude they said to her—and kill them all.
Every year the Primal of Death didn’t claim her made things harder for Sera, but the six months following her twentieth birthday were some of the worst. Food was no longer sent to her chambers, making it necessary for her to raid the kitchens. She no longer received clothing. And she was always left alone. The only time she even saw her mother was when she was ordered to send a message.
Now, I know that Calliphe had trouble looking at Sera, even from a very young age because she looks so much like her father and the Queen missed him like a limb, but to neglect and abuse your child like that? It makes me furious.
But back to her ordered assassination. Going after the Lords of the Vodina Isles, Sera heads to the docks and kills all four of them, setting their ship free to be found later by whomever. She then heads to the Luxe, hears a shrill cry, and follows the sound, only to see a woman killing a man with eather. She feels warmth in her chest and sees a man tossing a dead child aside. She realizes that both the man and the woman are gods and vows to kill at least one of them—the male for sure. She knows she’ll likely die in the process and makes peace with that knowledge.
Just as she’s about to launch her attack, someone grabs her and carries her away. Something about his voice is strangely familiar. She pulls a dagger on him and ends up pinned against an outdoor wall. Meeting his gaze, she realizes that he’s also a god. She wonders if he’s from the Shadowlands, the Court of the Primal of Death, and therefore knows who she is.
Oh, he knew all right.
When the three murderous gods return, she and the god she’s with hide in plain sight by making out against the wall. Once the coast is clear, he orders her to go home. In true Seraphena fashion, she simply walks away, ignoring him.
Meeting up again, Sera realizes he’s been following the other gods, too. They decide to investigate the Kazin house together, and she finds it odd that the gods would kill and want it to remain unknown. She learns that this isn’t the first time these gods have done something like this and hears about the other victims.
Sera feels jolts of static whenever she and the god touch, and the eather in the god’s eyes makes her think of the Primal of Death. Despite what she feels and the confusion it raises within her, she doesn’t hesitate to pull her shadowstone dagger and put it to his throat. He comments on the weapon and asks her where she got it. She lies and says she took it from her stepbrother.
Easily disarmed, she has to answer why she so eagerly rushes toward death. She tells him to just get on with killing her but finds herself wanting to relax into him. Before she can unravel that thought more, he tells her to be careful and leaves.
The next time Sera trains with Sir Holland, he tells her she’s been off lately, and she realizes she’s been trying to come to terms with the fact that she threatened and kissed a god. And the more she thinks about it, the more she realizes how right it felt to be around him.
When Holland calls her Princess, it annoys Sera, and she corrects him, saying she’s an assassin and bait. He corrects her, but she once again insists she’s merely a weapon and nothing more…except for maybe a martyr. She was prepared to die killing the murderous gods, but she knows she won’t survive killing the Primal of Death.
Sera goes to see Odetta and asks her what it means to be touched by life and death—something she’s been told before. Odetta says that only the Fates know.
That’s a loaded answer if I ever heard one. It makes me wonder if Odetta knew more than she let on.
After visiting her father’s painting in her mother’s room and getting into it with the Queen, Sera heads to Stonehill and feels warmth in her chest, indicating that someone close has died. She sees the god, Madis, again and enters Joanis Designs, only to find the seamstress dead. The smells of charred flesh and something fresher permeate the air. Lilacs, perhaps?
She feels someone sneaking up on her and whirls, stabbing out with her dagger and getting…the god—her sexy god—right in the chest. Stunned, she watches as he pulls the blade free and destroys it. She threatens him and says she’s unimpressed by his show of force, not surprising given her usual lack of self-preservation. He asks her if anything scares her and calls her liessa. Once again, she feels a sense of…rightness being with him. Even more so when he tells her that she feels terror but isn’t afraid.
Nobody has ever seen her like that.
As they discuss what keeps bringing them together, he confesses that he’s watched out for her, but more than that, he’s wanted to.
Now that is a comment that means so much more than it sounds on the surface, especially since we know he’s watched her since she was a child.
Sera suddenly gets an odd feeling in the center of her chest, right in the spot where she normally feels her gifts responding to death. The heaviness unfurls within her, and she turns back to the seamstress’s body for no discernible reason, suddenly catching the scent of stale lilacs in the air.
The dead seamstress stirs, rises, and attacks. The god steps in and stabs Andreia with his shadowstone sword. Once she’s dead, Sera asks the god what liessa means—the word he’s been calling her. He explains that it has many meanings, but it always means something beautiful and powerful.
If that didn’t give her a boost, I’m not sure what would.
While training later with Sir Holland, Ezra comes for her—stirring the knight’s ire—and asks for her help, telling her about an abusive guy named Nor and his children. Sera agrees.
After donning the appropriate attire, she goes to see Nor. On the way, she and Ezra discuss the Rot overtaking the land. Near the Temple of Keella, Sera hears protestors speaking about the Rot and the Crown. While their rants are true, the words spoken bother her. Despite that, she has a job to do and does it, killing Nor, taking care of a battered woman, and rescuing the man’s abused son.
