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Killian opens his mouth to argue and I lift a hand. Glaring up at me, he slowly closes his lips and waits.
“I know we started off a bit rocky.” I snort, remembering the girl I was back then. So naive. So different. “But we had gotten to a place of mutual respect and understanding until you decidedto use my body for your own selfish shit.” I pause, taking a deep breath to fight back the suffocating pain.
Killian reaches toward me before dropping his arm. “I know.” He agrees, pain radiating behind his sad eyes. “And I’m so sorry, baby girl. What can I do?”
I cock my head at him, pondering his question. Is there anything he can do? Anything that would be enough?
Lifting his palms in surrender, he pleads with me. “Tell me what I can do to make this better, firecracker. Whatever it is. Just tell me.”
I peer down at him, some of the ice around my heart melting at the sight of him so willingly offering himself up to me. For me. “You want to know what you can do?” I ask, watching him carefully.
Killian inclines his head, palms still facing upward.
My eyes trail up his arms, along the intricate tattoos covering his skin, taking in his bulging muscles as he repeatedly flexes in an attempt to restrain himself. I feel a familiar heat flood between my thighs as I run my gaze over his broad chest, silver and black curls peeking out from the deep collar of his shirt. Looking lower, my eyes zero in on the bulge in his jeans. His erection pressing against the fabric makes it clear I’m not the only one getting some sick satisfaction out of our role reversal.
The realization gives me an idea.
Dragging my eyes slowly back up his body, I smirk at him as I order, “For starters, you can strip.” Crossing my arms, I wait to see if he’ll do it or if this is all some bullshit ploy to get me back for his own personal needs.
Killian snaps back in shock, looking at me incredulously. “You can’t be serious.” He barks, lowering his hands.
Lifting the corner of my lips, I wink at him. “Deadly.”
His pupils dilate even as he grumbles.
I watch with rapt attention as he reaches one arm back and pulls his t-shirt over his head, his muscles flexing with each movement. Licking my lips, I nod my head as he pauses to look up at me. “Keep going.” I demand, digging my fingers into the skin of my elbows and pressing my thighs together.
It’s been too long.
The thought surprises me. It’s the first real desire I’ve had for him since that day. This time, however, it’s not just a physical reaction.
I find that I miss him. I miss his gentle care, his generous nature. I miss the Killian I began falling in love with beyond the man who became my instant obsession.
My eyes water and I blink away the tears as I watch Killian discard the shirt and reach for his belt, unbuckling it and sliding the leather free. “All of it.” I whisper huskily, needing to see him.
Killian pushes off the floor, eyes locked with mine as he unbuttons his jeans. Sliding them down his hips, he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, slowly pushing them down.
My breath hitches as I watch his cock spring free from the confines of his clothing. Stepping out of his pants, Killian now stands before me in all his naked glory. My pussy throbs, a dull ache at the need to have him with me, on me,inme.
“Come here.” I command, my voice shaking with desire, hungrily taking him in as he steps toward me. The same tattoos covering most his forearms continue up the length of his biceps before interconnecting with various other designs running along his chest, back, abdomen, and legs. I find it difficult to find a free space of skin that isn’t covered in the black ink.
Killian stops before me and I run my fingertips over the designs. I’ve seen them before but something about this feels different, I feel a deeper connection with the darkness marring his skin. The scars healed to show the beauty behind the pain.
“You know, I never really understood tattoos before, but I think I do now.” I muse, tracing a swirled line over the sharp edge of a blade on his bicep. “It’s a pain and a beauty that stays with you forever. You can’t separate one from the other, but that’s also what makes it so beautiful.”
My quiet murmuring continues as I follow the pattern down his chest, stopping over a gnarly scar that has been decorated by a skull. “You enjoy both, don’t you?” I lift my gaze to meet his, finding something shining back at me that I’m not ready for.
Not yet.
Quickly averting my gaze again, I drop my hand. “Right. So you took away my choice, my body’s choice in the pain and pleasure you delivered.” Taking a deep breath to push past the painful memories, I declare, “Now you’re going to give it back to me.”
Turning away from him before I can get lost in whatever was just about to happen, I quickly strip out of my own clothes and climb onto the bed. “I want you to make me come and remind me thatIget a say in how my body is used.”
Killian runs his eyes over my naked body. Licking his lips, he nods.
He takes a step forward and I’m hit with a sudden wave of panic. “Wait!” I cry out, making him instantly freeze. Even the small reaction helps to ease some of the tension building inside of me, but it’s not quite enough. “I need you to promise to stop if I tell you to. This is aboutme.Understood?” Worrying my bottom lip, I try to push past my growing fear.
Killian’s eyes grow sad as he solemnly nods. “I swear, baby girl. You say the word and I stop.” He promises.
