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“The princess?” He screwed his face up.
“No, the pop singer, you idiot,” I laughed.
We watched the film in a comfortable silence. Brent had a completely neutral expression most of the way through, except when Penelope Cruz sang her seduction song in lingerie; his brow rose in appreciation. I rolled my eyes but smiled nonetheless. About halfway through the film, I took a chance, discarded the cooling hot water bottle and clambered over to him, resting my head on his chest. I felt his body tense beneath me.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, you’re obviously in a very generous mood, what with all the tea and chocolate and painkillers. So, I thought I would take advantage and have some snuggles,” I said, matter-of-factly.
“Snuggles?” he scoffed. “I’m not the snuggling type.” But he didn’t attempt to move me. I spent the next few minutes keeping my breathing steady and not moving as much as I could so as not to remind him that I was cuddling into him. He smelt of warm cinnamon and fresh laundry and I was enveloped in comfort. After a while, he slowly moved his arm from the back of the couch, slipped his fingers into the neck of my hoodie and oh-so gently traced circles on the bare skin of my shoulder. My heart gave a leap in my chest while my face screwed as I tried to understand what was happening. When he turned and smelt my hair before planting a light kiss on my head, I jerked with the shock and looked at him.
He was surprised to see I’d moved. He must have thought I had been asleep. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours, his jaw grinding and his nostrils flaring. I watched his Adam’s apple bob on a hard swallow. His gaze darted from my eyes to my lips, which parted. He had lust in his eyes, arousal pooled in my underwear and our faces were very slowly coming together.
“Brent…”
He slid his fingers into my hair and pulled me to him, his soft warm lips pressing to mine. I melted into him, parting my lips to allow his tongue access. Kissing Brent was not what I had imagined, I had thought he would domineer, take me roughly and grip me with bruising force, but he didn’t. He was tender, gentle and sweet. I traced his arm from where he cupped the back of my head to his shoulder and ran my hand down his side, feeling the hard planes of muscles. I was wet and needy as his other hand slid up my bare thigh, stopping just short of reaching my core. Curling my fingers into the fabric of his shirt, I pulled myself closer to him, deepening our kiss.
Brent’s fingers dug into the flesh of my leg and gripped the back of my neck while his mouth devoured me. I wanted him so much I couldn’t keep the desperation out of my kiss. He leant over me, forcing me onto my back but no sooner had hit the couch cushions, the distinctive click of the front door opening sounded like a warning shot through the room. We jumped apart and I instinctively pulled the blanket back over me despite still having all my clothes on. Brent looked as relaxed as possible with one arm back stretched along the back of the sofa and one ankle resting on the other knee, the only sign of unrest being his heaving chest, which matched my own.
Lance and Hayden fell through the front door, literally. Landing in a pile on the living room floor laughing at something I couldn’t make out.
“What the…?” Brent stared down at them but when they saw him looking in confused disgust they only laughed harder. I stood to see them better and giggled at their clear drunkenness. Hayden’s pale skin had the tell-tale pink flush of inebriation and he craned his neck up to look at me with a goofy smile that was still beautiful on his face. Lance laid beneath him, shaking with laughter and with a peppering of lipstick kisses on his cheeks.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he smiled at me.
“Looks like you had a good night,” I smirk back. The evidence of other girls’ adoration made my stomach twist but the fact that he arrived home with Hayden and was now with me, fuelled my smile.
“Would you believe it,” Hayden said, prodding a finger on one of the offending marks. “One of those is mine?”
Lance laughed again and I chuckled too, while Brent just shook his head at their antics.
“I completely believe it,” I said, pulling Hayden up off Lance and helping each of them to their feet. They both stumbled slightly, swaying as they stood. “I think we need to get you to bed.”
Lance looked at me with hooded eyes, his smile turning dark. “Is that an offer, sweetheart?”
Considering I had literally been making out like a horny teenager with his cousin two minutes ago, his words and sexy expression shouldn’t have done things to my insides. It was becoming clear that Lance was drunker than Hayden who was managing to stay more upright than his friend, who kept having to move his feet to maintain his balance. I couldn’t answer his question before Lance stepped forward, leaving us only an inch apart and he looked down at my chest with a confused look.
“Hey,” he poked the St La Salle logo covering my torso. “That’s my hoodie.”
I smirked up at him as his finger lightly traced the wording across my chest, making my nipples hard despite the warmth the clothing provided. “How do you know it’s not my hoodie? We both got the same colour.”
He raised an eyebrow, looking sinfully sexy despite his swaying. “Because yours fits like a glove, mine is too big for you. Plus,” he poked hard over my right boob. “That’s the red wine stain from when you threw that glass at me.”
I laughed, the stain he was covering with a single finger was nothing but a couple splotches. “I didn’t throw a glass at you, I passed you a glass and you spilt some, butter-fingers.”
Seemingly ignoring the last thing I said, he continued looking at my body and not my face, rolling his bottom lip between his teeth. “I like how you look in my clothes,” he spoke barely above a whisper as though he was saying it more to himself than to me. I swallowed hard, my whole body flaring with heat.
Brent jumped up from the sofa and clapped Lance on the shoulder, catching him before he hit the carpet again. “Come on Casanova, time to turn in before you embarrass yourself.” He guided Lance up the stairs, into their perspective rooms, without a second glance my way. My shoulders slumped, an unwelcomefeeling of rejection draining me of all the excitement I had been feeling before the boys got home, and then again under Lance’s scrutiny.
Hayden watched them retreating and seemed to take a deep breath as though to centre himself. He looked at me and must have noticed my sagging mood, but rather than saying anything directly, approached gently. “You had a good night, baby-cakes?” He slid his hands around my waist and pulled me to him.
This was what Hayden and I did. Since the night I’d kissed him in front of his manager, to anyone on the outside, we would look like a couple. We were always touching, very affectionate, we kissed, we went on “dates,” we had private jokes, and we loved each other. But we weren’t together, we didn’t have sex or consider each other boyfriend/girlfriend. It was just how we were. I loved his affection and craved his touch; it centred me and he made me feel loved. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know why we never took it to the next level and, because he never tried to either, I suspect he knew all along too. I couldn’t have been with him, or Lance, or Brent, forsaking the other two. I couldn’t change our dynamic, I couldn’t risk shutting two of them out. I loved all three of them. I wanted all three of them, but I couldn’t admit that out loud.
“I told you to stop calling me baby-cakes,” I rolled my eyes, resting my hands on his solid chest. Despite his original promise, Hayden had started going to the gym with Brent and Lance and had packed on a little more muscle since I first met him. I couldn’t be mad about it.
His smile stretched slowly across his lips as he looked down at me with mischief in his eyes. “But I love the way your disgruntled little nose ruffles when I do,” he chuckled, knocking his nose back and forth against mine. “Anyway, how’s your evening been?”
I sighed, I couldn’t tell him about my kiss with Brent, I can’t tell any of them about my feelings for any of them. “I got my period and I feel like shit and Brent was nice to me, it was weird.”
