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Shit. Am I doing it wrong? Does he not want me to touch him? “Oh, I uh…I was taking care of you.” I don’t recognise the uncertainty in my voice.
That’s when his mouth stretches, his beautiful smile dazzles me. “No one’s ever done that for me before.”
I’m surprised by that. Although Hayden is a cut and run kind of lover with most of his hook ups, I doubt he’d stick around for aftercare even if they’d offer it. I kiss him again, on the corner of his mouth this time. “Get used to it.”
His eyes narrow slightly as I lay back down next to him, staring at my face. “You going to tell me what just happened?”
I look to the ceiling and take a deep breath.Here it goes. “For the record, I was planning on having a conversation with you before…thathappened but, you know.”
“No, I don’t know. Please explain.” His amusement is clear in his voice and his smile. I can’t help my responding smirk.
“You looked good,” I shrug.
“I always look good.”
I reach up and stroke a piece of hair back off his face. “Yeah, you do.”
His eyes move to my lips and I swallow as the air seems to crackle between us again. “If you want to have a conversation, you better start talking now or I’ll be using your mouth for something else very soon.”
That has me smiling again. I look back up to both stop myself from getting distracted by his beautiful face and because it’s easier to talk without looking at him. “I know I’ve been unfair to you, Hayden. I’ve kept you on a hook without giving you anything real, and I’ve been selfish with you.”
“Lance, if this is about what I said, I was just high-strung because of everything with Elle…I didn’t mean—”
“No. Don’t. You were right but this isn’t just about that.”
He stops talking and looks at me through his thick, black lashes, waiting patiently for me to explain.
“What I’ve always said is true. The people in my life, the people I lead and manage, won’t be accepting of me having a relationship with a man. But I want you, I want more than we’ve had, and I want to be exclusive.”
I chance a glance in his direction but his face remains neutral, not giving me anything.
“I don’t think we could exactly shout about it, but when it’s us, when we’re just Lance and Hayden, I want us to be together, as together as any couple. I want to tell Brent.”
That has him raising a brow. “Are you sure? That’s a big thing, Lance.”
I shake my head. “I want people to know you are mine and I am yours. I want to do this. And I intend on letting everyone know, at some point, but I can’t tell you when that will be right now.”
“Why now?” He asks. “We’ve been messing around for three years, Lance. Why suddenly do you want more?”
I turn my head to look at him, to show him the sincerity I’m hoping is coming through in my eyes. “I’vealwayswanted it, Hayden. I’ve always wantedyou. Don’t doubt that.”
He nods, clearly believing me, thankfully.
“It was Elle,” I continued. “I was worried that my feelings for you were muddled up with my feelings for her. When we first started this…thing…it was a direct result of losing her. It was a response to heartache, and I was worried that if she had still been an option, I wouldn’t have felt so strongly for you.”
He takes a deep breath and blows it out between puffed cheeks, taking in my words. He seems to be taking it in stride but still, I want to reassure him. I turn to my side, facing him and cup his face.
“Looking back now, I needn’t have worried. I was falling for you long before you felt me up on a public footpath.”
He smiles that sexy-as-fuck smile and leans over to brush his lips against mine. “I did a bit more that feel you up.”
I kiss him, deeply. Relishing his taste, the feel of his soft lips against mine and the feeling of hope that this conversation will have the desired outcome. “Having Elle here has confirmed that her presence has no effect on my feelings for you. I still want her, Hayden. I have to be clear about that. I loved her then, and I love her still. But whether or not she feels the same, I still want you. She’ll always be the only woman I’ll ever love, and you will always be the only man I’ll ever love. You’re the only man I want.”
He lifts his head and looks at me with a pinched brow. “You love me?” His voice breaks and I hear hope in his tone.
My emotions are getting the better of me, so all I can do is nod. He rolls over me and takes my mouth with his. We’re skin on skin and his semi-hard cock rubs against my own making arousal flush my skin and sending heat across my body. “I love you too,” Hayden’s confession comes across my lips with his moist breath.
I run my hands down his body to squeeze his arse and pull him closer, grinding our dicks together to get the friction we’re both craving. “Show me,” I demand, but he pulls away.
