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“Reilyn, none of this is your fault,” Araki cupped my face, his voice a balm to my shattered heart.
“I know. But it doesn’t stop me from feeling like it is.”
Araki leaned back against the headboard and put his arms around me. “Opaline is a master of manipulation.”
“She laughed in my face.”
His arms tightened.
“As the poison consumed my body, she undid the spell as I lay there helpless and dying. That was her last act before I teleported away. It wasn’t good enough that she thought she had killed me. She had to show me just how deep the betrayal went. She wanted to hurt me for no reason other than to hurt me.” I shuddered, remembering the triumphant gleam on Opaline’s face, the way she’d sneered at me.
Araki kissed my temple. He seemed to be struggling, trying to say something, but he only fell silent and pulled me closer. A wave of grief washed over me. I couldn’t stop myself. I leaned into Araki’s chest and started to sob. Everything I thought was true was nothing but a lie. Opaline never cared for me. She didn’t love me. I was nothing more than a tool for her. A tool and an annoyance. She would have gotten rid of me if Master Briggs hadn’t insisted on raising me, hadn’t insisted I’d be of use.
Of use.
The Coven wasn’t my family. My real family, my parents, had tied me into a sack and thrown me into the sewer when I was five. Master Briggs fished me out and saved me. But even if he cared for me, I was still a tool. He raised me to be a weapon. Not because I was special. But because I was disposable. I was the sort of person who would draw the eye for a brief moment. Let me get close enough to strike and then be on my way. I was the sort of person that could be dragged before a crowd, accused of murder, the face of treason. And all the while, someone else would slip into my shadow, taking the spot I’d just vacated.
The real power. The person who actually was special.
Araki cradled me against his chest as these waves of grief washed over me. He held me as I sobbed. I hadn’t had anyonewho would just let me express emotion like this before. Even though it hurt, I kept telling myself I had no reason to cry over such lies… it felt good to be held, to let myself release this flood of tears. By the time my crying was over, we were both lying in bed again. His arms surrounded me, and I rested my head on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat was soothing.
“I don’t want to keep you locked up here anymore,” Araki finally said. “I haven’t for a while. I want you to get to know people and maybe find a place you belong.”
A place where I belong? I frowned. For so long, I thought I belonged here. The queen of this palace. But I never did. It was never my home, never promised to me. Was Araki inviting me to make it my home?
“You don’t believe I’ll run off again?” I lifted my head from his chest, my tone light.
Araki chuckled. “After what we shared right now? Making love is one thing. Crying together? That’s something else entirely.”
I wiped the tears that still lingered on my face. “So… you’re saying that you trust me?”
“I want you to feel free to explore. Although I should tell you, I can still sense where you are through our link.” He wrapped his hand into my hair and kissed it lazily. “I suppose we could take this link off now. But I would rather be able to keep this connection. So if I need help, you can come to my aid, of course,” he added with a teasing smile.
Rolling my eyes, I settled down again. “So. I’m free to go where I want?”
“Yes. Anywhere you want.”
“That means I can ransack your room anytime I feel like it?” I teased.
Araki laughed into my hair. “I didn’t say that. But I will tell the servants and guards to treat you like a guest. And we still have the cover of you being Nadine’s cousin.”
His reminder made me recall something else. I turned my face into his chest, inhaling his scent. “On the night of Bonfyr’s celebration, Klaus said something about proving you could trust me around the court. So was my freedom that day a test?”
“A test?” Araki’s tone was overly innocent.
I rolled over him, catching his wrists in my hands. I pinned him down, though we both knew it wouldn’t be so easy if he didn’t let me. “You knew where I was the entire time. Did you have other guards following me?”
He widened his eyes and blinked a few times, his long lashes fluttering. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It was a test. Is Mhrandir a guard? Or is she an assassin, too?”
Araki laughed, leaving me to believe I had to be right. I attempted to glare at him, but I was distracted when he lifted his hips, rubbing himself against me. I felt his desire. A shiver skittered down my spine. His eyes sparkled invitingly, and I ground myself against him. His eyes fluttered, sliding half-shut. I pinned both his hands over his head, then leaned forward to kiss him—
A pounding knock on the door made us both jump. I rolled off Araki, quickly covering my chest. The spells he had used must have worn off. Araki pushed himself to his elbow with an irritated scowl on his face.
“Araki, answer me already!” The panic in Klaus’s voice was obvious.
“We’re alright,” Araki shouted back. The pounding on the door stopped. “Five minutes.”
