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"I have to consider realistic options when I'm so close to the end of college."
“You have well over a year left!” Lucas argues.
"You're leaving rowing? Leaving BB?" Kit gawps.
"Not by choice..." I shrug. The action hurting, and that tells me a little more.
"You're not giving yourself the time to heal," Lucas snaps.
"What time do I have? How do I make up for the lost time whilst I'm stood here watching you train? In the mix of this, how do I deal with Mia? My parents?"
"Add on Harry and Zac, it’s a shit storm." Kit nods. "But you can't make quick decisions when it comes to these things."
"I'm literally spinning without any direction," I admit.
"We've got you, man." Sawyer nods.
"I know, and I appreciate it, but I think I need to start addressing things rather than avoiding them. Sometimes I need to start new habits if I want things to change."
"Speaking of one of your habits!" Coach hollers, interrupting our chat. He walks to us, holding up a piece of paper. “Stop leaving kissy notes here!”
Passing it to me, I see that it's heart shaped. Her handwriting is on the front which sends my heart shooting off the end of a rollercoaster.
On the back, she's written:
Meet me for breakfast. X
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN ¦ DINING ROOM
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Mia
Iwait outside Momma's, holding the take-out bag as the cold hands of winter slap at me. I don't want to sit in Momma's and reveal the truth to Austin when there are so many ears. Every time I go somewhere with Austin, we attract attention. I don't know if I will ever get used to it, used to him, but I’m going to try because he’s worth it. I trust him so I know that it’s time.
I also don't want to risk those ears taking information back toOff Topic.
I should have told him this a while ago, but it's harder to do when you spend more time with someone. Knowing them, falling for them, increases the worry that he could walk away. Isn't it better he runs now rather than when I've completely fallen in love with him?
I’m completely in love with him.
I guess my biggest decision is which issue to tell him about first? My dreams or Dad?
Both will give him the tools to run from me.
"Hey."
I flinch. "Hi." Anyone could have jumped at me. I need to stop getting lost in my own thoughts.
"You okay?" Hazel eyes question me, and I know they see far too much.
"I'm good. I thought we could sit on the Common. Eat there?"
"Sure." He leans down, and I always love this moment. His whole body blocks out the world and makes it feel safe. His lips are soft, soothing, and nearly bring tears to my eyes.
He knows.
He breaks the kiss, looking around us, taking in the weather. I know there are many questions firing in his head right now, because I'd have them, too. He takes my hand as we walk in silence. I'm also crazy aware of the issues he may be facing right now. I don't know when he's going to start rowing again or ifthat’s something he wants to do? He never talks to me about this stuff. I want to help him with whatever path he decides to take.
