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“I can take care of myself,” I tell him. He leans a bit closer and I have to fight the urge not to close the space between us and run my lips against his.
“I’m a gentleman. I don’t mind taking care of you.” He reaches up and caresses my cheek with his rough finger.
“I need to go, Blaze.” My words are barely above a whisper.
“I’ll walk you out.”
“I’m capable of doing that on my own too.” A bit of strength creeps back into my voice.
He smiles. “I’m a gentleman, remember?” he reminds me as he holds out his hand. With reluctance, I take it and let him help me up. It isn’t until we’re outside that I realize Aimee didn’t come back to the table. My friend truly is a traitor. I’ll call her on it very soon. I think she might be matchmaking, and she needs to know that’s not going to happen. She too often worries that I have no interest in dating.
I internally sigh. It’s not that I have no interest in dating, it’s that I can’t find any attraction to anyone . . . well, anyone who isn’t Blake. This man is so dangerous. I need some danger in my life, though, I try to assure myself. Dang it, he really does make me feel as if I’m losing my mind.
The streets are quiet as he walks me to my car about a block away. I don’t know what to say as my arm rests in his, sending warmth through me. I’m mostly relieved when we reach it. I don’t want to leave him, which tells me I should go and regroup. The more I want to be with him, the more I should run.
“Thank you for dinner,” I say, since he paid the check before I was able to argue. Blaze says nothing as he turns my body so I’m facing him, runs a hand through my hair, and tugs, pulling me close to him.
“We can’t do this, it’s breaking the rules,” I warn. But I don’t pull away from him like I should. I’m used to people following my rules. I don’t know what to do with this man who seems to never find a single rule he isn’t determined to break.
“To hell with the rules. This is something we owe each other.” The desire in his voice makes me melt as he pulls me closer, my breasts brushing against his chest. How can I enforce rules even I don’t want? His tone is filled with desire and his touch is anything but gentle. I love it, though I’m afraid to admit it, evento myself. Without waiting any longer, his lips touch mine and fire spreads through my system.
I sigh against his mouth, opening to him as his tongue seeks entrance. The hand cupping my hair tugs, and his other hand runs down my back to rest on the curve of my butt. Hunger, unlike anything I ever remember feeling before, and that’s saying something, floods through me. I’m drowning in his arms and I don’t want to come up for air.
His woodsy spice scent surrounds me, making me cling to him tightly as I get lost in his arms. It’s the same smell that mesmerized me so many years ago. The sea pounds in the background, the only noise in our private cocoon.
His tongue tastes mine, and I don’t resist the pull of him. He’s so hot, so familiar, and I’m as lost as I always was in his embrace. When Blaze pulls back, I whimper. I open my eyes and see fierce desire staring back at me. In seconds this man undoes me. I’m a goner.
And it scares me. This can’t happen. Panic seeps in, but he releases me and takes a step back. He opens his mouth before he closes it again. He takes another step back and sighs. He seems scared right now which really confuses me. Maybe he’s just as lost as I am as impossible as this seems.
“Get some rest, you’ll need it,” he tells me. And then he turns and walks away. I’m trembling as he grows further and further away from me. How is it possible for one person to have this much control over another? It’s as if the sexual revolution never happened. What about female power? I seriously am turning into one of those women I’ve always despised. It doesn’t matter how much I hate on myself, I’m still trembling.
Only once he’s been gone for a solid few minutes do I slip into my car and lean my head against the steering wheel. I’m not sure of anything — especially of myself. I know I’ve bitten off far more than I’m capable of chewing. I sit for a while longer. It might bea law that a person can’t text and drive, but I think they need to update the policies. A person shouldn’t be wet and drive either. I bang my head on the steering wheel. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Only this man makes me think these ridiculously cheesy, irrational thoughts. I’m still not running, though. Nope. I’m a fool. The sooner I accept this, the sooner I can jump over the cliff and embrace my crazy.
Chapter Seventeen
Courtney
Nerves askew, I stand next to Blaze’s cabin and watch him load gear into his vehicle. His mussed hair is blowing in the breeze as a seagull dive-bombs him. Blaze swats the bird away as his lips turn up in a breathtaking smile that has my heart skipping a beat. I might be rooting for the bird to take a bite or two. The man could use a few scars. Nope. Even scars wouldn’t detract from this man’s looks. It’s not just the image of him, it’s the utter confidence he exudes. It’s the total package.
I realize I’m in some serious trouble as I gaze at my first love while he stands at the vehicle wearing only a pair of khaki shorts and a fitted T-shirt. His muscles ripple in the rays of the sun as he lifts his arms and stretches. Beautiful. He’s pure beauty, causing an unbelievable ache in my stomach as I remind myself I made a good decision ten years before, and a not-so-good decision in coming on this quest with him now.
By good decision, I realize I can’t ever regret out summer together. It turned me from a girl to a woman. Spending last weekend with him might’ve been foolish, but oh, how good it was. My bad decision making truly started a few days ago. I know this quest is a mistake. I have to wipe the corners of mymouth as I gaze at this man. Adult women shouldn’t drool, but the saying about mouthwatering good began for a reason. Saliva literally builds in my mouth as I gaze upon him. Maybe if I look at it in a biological way, I can be more forgiving of my errant thoughts. I doubt it. It seems I simply like crucifying myself.
On the other hand, it never hurts to take in some eye candy, does it? It’s a natural response for any woman presented with so much bronze and steel. As I gaze at him, I try to think like the professor I am, and simply appreciate the exquisiteness of a beautiful man. This is what keeps our species alive. Hell, in a lot of the animal kingdom, the males are always prettier than the females. Eye candy is real. I’ve talked myself into feeling better about my stocker ways.
Logic always works for me, and I give myself a break and an out at the same time. Biology demands I appreciate a good male specimen. Good for me. With a deep breath, I walk across the pavement to where he’s stowing the last items.
An F-18 flies over us and he gazes up at the sky, his profile brilliant as his expression changes to that of an excited child. Boys and fast toys are something I’ll never truly understand. Even as he watches the speeding jet, I see restlessness in his body. Ten years ago he was a young man on a mission — too excited about life to sit still. It’s something I envy about him. He follows his dreams and doesn’t apologize for it. I wish I had the same courage. Though I’m quiet as I approach him, he turns and glances at me intensely, giving me his full attention.
“You’re right on time.” The deep baritone of his voice sends a shiver through me. I look from him to the vehicle and wonder how I’m going to survive this ride.
“I don’t like being late,” I respond as he walks me around to the passenger side of the vehicle and opens the door. He holds out his hand and the contact sends a sizzle through me as he helps me inside.
He doesn’t say anything before shutting the door, moving around to the other side, and climbing in. There isn’t much of a barrier between us, and his strong thighs are far too close.
“Do you need help with the seat belt?” he asks with a wicked grin as I sit still in the seat, afraid to move an inch. It won’t take much for our shoulders to press close on the truck bench seat.
“I think I can manage a clasp,” I say with a nervous chuckle.
