AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Something that, if it is the latter, would piss him off.
I assume. I can’t know for sure, of course, because I never met him, his wife, my parents, or my other set of grandparents. At least two of them met me, not that I can remember it. All I know is the outcome…
Being surrendered.
I spent my entire life wondering what was wrong with me. What newborn me could have done so wrong that would have the very people that gave me life not want it?
It took me far too long to accept that it wasn’t on me. I had done nothing to warrant their actions.
Unfortunately, it was after I’d aged out of the system, after I’d closed myself off to even the possibility that any of the couples interested in me would want me. Would keep me.
More than likely, that attitude is the reason none ever tried past the initial meet and greet. I don’t fault them for that, but I do wish older me could go back in time and give younger me that tidbit of wisdom.
Then again, perhaps this is exactly where I’m meant to be.
In a ‘donation center,’ waiting for my name to be called. Once it is, I’ll be shown to a room where I’ll learn whether the implantation of the donor’s sperm I chose has taken.
If it hasn’t, I’m going to cry because this is the only chance I have at this.
It’s an expensive process and I used almost all of my inheritance to do it. I want to maintain a balance that if, miracle of miracles this is a success, I’ll have enough left to be able to afford the necessities a baby will require.
And, based upon my research, it’s a lot.
I could go the conventional method. Date, have a serious relationship, and let nature take its course, yet that’s not for me. I’ve never so much as kissed a guy. I can’t bring myself to. Chalk it up to a fear of abandonment because that’s exactly what it is. Everyone that should have loved me, should have taken care of me, left. Why would I think a man would stay when my own family didn’t?
“Zoe Kirkley,” Dawn, a nurse I’ve seen regularly since I started coming here, calls my name, crossing her fingers when our eyes catch. I smile and return the superstitious action, willing to take any possibility of this going my way.
“Hi, Dawn,” I greet as she begins escorting me down the hall. “You having a good day?”
“So far so good. Yours?” I admit that I’m nervous and she gives my arm a quick squeeze in silent support.
Once I’m in my room, she asks the standard questions. How I’m feeling? Have I noticed any changes? The answers, in order, are anxious and yes. When I expound on the affirmative, I can see the hope on her face and I let myself experience it, too.
I know she’s worked here long enough to have picked up on a few things, but I don’t want to put her on the spot, so I refrain from begging what she thinks.
She excuses herself, making me promise to see her before I leave, and I sit there, fidgeting, until Dr. Smithers joins me.
At the knock on the door, what I’ve come to learn is her warning prior to entering, I mentally throw up a prayer that she’s going to tell me what I long to hear.
We exchange pleasantries, then she looks over my chart, and probably the results of the most important test I’ll ever take, on her tablet. As I’m nearing the end of my ability to remain patient, the irony of that being what people seeing those in the medical field are called making me snort, she takes pity on me.
“Congratulations, Zoe. The procedure was a success.” I’m speechless. The euphoria I expected to feel unable to come out until she states, “You’re pregnant.”
That’s when I start crying.
I’m finally going to have the family I’ve always wanted.
Chapter Two
Walker
Four months later, January 11th…
“Hello, son of mine,” Mom says when I answer my cell.
“Hello, mother of mine,” I return, knowing our routine will make her smile.
“Will we see you for dinner tonight?” The hint is not subtle, which makes sense as she’s never been accused of such a trait. Mom prefers to say what she means and mean what she says. A characteristic she passed down to me and it has served me well.
