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“See. It’s like a convertible. The top is down on one, and up on the other.”
She giggles, despite it not being that funny or making much sense, but I’ll take it. And give myself a second point for the Dad joke.
“Do you uh, have to go, or can you stay?”
“I’m all yours,” I vow, wishing she knew how true that is.
“Be careful making promises. I may take you up on them.”
“Take away,” I urge her, except she reverts to a safer topic.
“I was going to clean,” the place is spotless, “but I’ve decided to take the day off. Want to watch some movies with me?”
“There is nothing else I’d rather be doing.”
Zoe stares at me. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
“I do.” Two words I hope to be exchanging with her soon. “Do you want me to match your shoes first?”
With a grin, she kicks them off. “I’ve got this.”
Chapter Five
Zoe
January 21st…
Without any signs of boredom or words of complaint, Walker stayed at my place for hours. In between movies, we made lunch, then cooked dinner together as if we’d done it for years, then resumed our seats on the couch, this time closer than before, and turned on another flick. At some point, my eyes were too heavy to keep open and I crashed, head against his shoulder, and woke up with it on his lap. His fingers running through my hair as if he was soothing me out of a bad dream.
Oddly enough, he had been. In it, I’d never received the call about the donation mix up. Never met Walker. Never spent time with him. Never got a chance to start feeling something for him outside of being my child’s dad.
The scarier part was when it flipped and it all happened the way it actually did except Walker didn’t reciprocate any of it. He only wanted the baby.
Not me.
Never me.
Then a parade of people, features blurred as I’ve never seen what my biological family looks like, joined forces and began telling me I was worthless.
Unwanted,
Unloved.
You know, the truths that have haunted me my whole life.
When he’d left, appearing somewhat reluctant to do so in my opinion, I was once again faced with the reality of being alone.
Which I am so tired of being.
This morning, I did the cleaning and chores I’d put off to hang out with him, and my insecurities shadowed me. Taunting me. Making me wish things could be different.
That I could be different.
Now, I’ve never believed in manifesting something you want, yet I also don’t know if I can label it a hell of a coincidence as I suddenly realize I’m freezing.
I check the thermostat, only to discover it’s not working. Oh, the display is on, the numbers showing the actual temperature and my preferred are there, yet they don’t match. And, based upon the chill in the air, they haven’t for a while.
Awesome.
