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He straightens and looks over his shoulder, waiting for me to finish, but I don’t know what to say, where to begin, or where to end.
“Yeah,” he says with a nod, as if he understands my hesitance. He zips up his bag and tosses it on the foot of the bed.
Leave now, or you’re never going to, and this is going to get weird. I creep toward the kitchen through the darkness, grab my bags, and head back to my condo.
* * *
Before I can open my door, I collapse against the wall, watching the subtle movements of the dark ocean. The sky is clear, and I can see the faint speckling of the brightest stars over the horizon.
Why? Why is this so hard?
I’ve said plenty of goodbyes, done the walk-of-shame with no shame and no regrets. Now my only regret is the emptiness I see before me.
I don’t do this. I can separate sex from emotion and flirting from love but, with each step, my legs feel heavier, weighed down by the feeling that I just left a once-in-a-lifetime thing, something I may never get back or find again.
Don’t be stupid.
You’re letting yourself get carried away.
I inhale the cool, salty air, looking for peace in the stillness of the early morning, but a dull ache fills my chest instead.
I turn on my heel, sucking it up, and unlock my condo. He’s got places to be and doesn’t need to deal with your crazy mood-swing this morning.
Unceremoniously dumping my things on the counter, I consider retreating to bed with the bottle of whiskey. I press my forearms against the cool granite surface, lean forward, and gaze out the window again. I wasn’t supposed to end this vacation feeling emptier than when I’d arrived, but the focus on reclaiming my independence had vanished the moment Riker walked up.
Once again, I’d let myself get caught up in the allure of an attractive man. I could have walked away. I could have put up my defenses. My chest tightens, then I shake my head and take a step back. This is what I do. Fall for the men with the pain behind their eyes. I jump. I fall, and where has that ever gotten me?
Things weren’t so fundamentally different with Beckett than they had been with Trent. Was it ever really a relationship at all or a safety net? Nice to have when I needed it but not the main component to happiness.With Trent, we’d admitted from the beginning that our regular hook ups were an arrangement of convenience, after which we returned to life as if nothing had happened. Beckett was far more concerned with appearances, but I was wooed by the prospects of stability and Beckett’s outward attempts to pamper me.
Food and booze. I’ll just admit it was the food and booze.
Maybe I’m not cut out for the long haul, but this feels different. I knew from the beginning exactly when it would end. The expiration date had been neatly printed in bold letters from the moment we met. I didn’t take it seriously, but under the constant jesting, I found an honest connection, and that isn’t as easy to walk away from.
A faint rustling behind me catches my attention and I spot a glint of movement out of the corner of my eye as I turn, but it’s too late.
Everything goes black. A thick dark fabric covers my face, and something tightens around my neck, instantly cutting off oxygen and muffling the scream before it even escapes my lungs.
My feet struggle to stay under me as I’m slung to the left. I land on my knees and something impacts my side. While I’m down, a set of hands grab my wrists, and I hear a sharp hissing sound as a zip tie tightens around them.
The band around my neck loosens long enough for one good breath, then tightens again, pulling me upright. “It’s about time you stop giving us the run-around.”
What the hell?
I flail, kicking out my legs and swinging my bound arms as I struggle for breath. My eyes sting and my chest aches but I don’t have the strength or leverage to free myself.
Through the fabric, a fist latches onto my hair, yanking my head back.
Something clatters against the tile floor next to me, then I hear a crunch.
At least two men.
Focus on the details.
I fight the natural instinct to resist. First, I need to keep my head on.
“Scream and it’ll be the last time.” A punch to my left cheek sends me sideways again, and the band around my neck loosens as I fall.
“What do you want?” I croak.
