Page 81 of It Kills Me


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“Once is all we need. Your father will see that you’re dating, and he’ll stop having me followed. We can fuck in peace.”

“Fine.”

“Have fun.” He kissed me and grabbed one of my ass cheeks.

“Shut up.” I pulled away and walked out the door, his chuckle following me.

I met the guy at the restaurant. He was some guy I’d met on a dating app. I’d picked him because he seemed the least like a douche out of all the candidates. Before I’d started fucking Axel, I’d had no problem exploring possibilities, getting dressed up for dates, meeting a guy at a bar and seeing where it went.

But now, it seemed so pointless.

Every guy I’d been with felt like a loser. Ryan was the biggest loser of all, and I wasn’t sure what I’d seen in him in the first place. His spine was made of jelly, and he didn’t speak his mind. He chose to keep his cards to his chest, always, only admitting the truth at the last possible minute.

This guy told me about his job as a real estate agent, selling apartments in the city. He talked a lot, so that made the night easy, because I just had to sit there and pretend to be listening when I honestly couldn’t care less.

All I had to do was get through the dinner then go home to Axel.

Axel said he would make it up to me, and I thought I knew what that meant.

“Enough about me,” he said. “What about you?”

I had no desire to make a good impression. “I work for my father. He’s a drug dealer.”

The guy laughed before he took a drink. “Funny.”

“I’m being serious.”

He continued to smirk, but once he studied my eyes for a moment, the laughter stopped. “You—you’re being serious.”

“Yes.”

“I just told you my father’s a cop.”

I hadn’t been paying attention. “Go ahead and tell him. I don’t care.”

Now the guy went quiet, focusing on his drink and hardly looking at me.

The date was officially ruined. The guy was ready to bail.

Fine by me.

He got the waiter’s attention. “Check, please.”

Yes, please.

When the waiter came by, I dropped my card on the table. “Let’s split it.”

“Great.” The guy took the card without complaint, happy he didn’t have to pay for my dinner.

Then we sat in silence and waited for the tab to return.

I walked in the door and immediately tossed my clutch on the entryway table.

Axel was sitting on the couch, in nothing but his sweatpants as he watched the game on the TV, his upper body bulging with strength. The guy I’d just gone out with was scrawny in comparison. If he tried to pick up a tire, he’d get crushed by it. “How’d it go?”

I slipped off my heels then threw them across the room and into my bedroom. “Not doing that again.” I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine from the top of the fridge. I uncorked it and poured myself a glass.

“That bad, huh?”

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