Page 82 of It Kills Me


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I walked into the room as I took a big drink.

“Was there not wine at dinner?”

“None that I wanted to drink.” I sat on the other couch, blaming him for my uncomfortable night.

“Come on, baby. Don’t be like that.”

I pulled my knees to my chest and opened the food delivery app on my phone. “I’m ordering a pizza. You want anything?”

“Didn’t you just eat?”

My eyes flashed in his direction.

He raised both of his hands in surrender. “Damn, this was a bad date.”

I ordered a pizza then set my phone aside. “He asked for the check the second the food came. We didn’t even eat.”

“Why didn’t you take it to go?”

“Because I ordered a salad.”

“Why did you order a salad?”

“Axel.”

A grin moved over his lips. “Sorry. It’s done now, alright?”

I looked at the TV, even though I didn’t give a shit about sports.

“You must have been a bad date, though.”

“He told me his dad is a cop, so I told him mine is a drug dealer.”

He burst into a short laugh. “Oh, baby.”

“I didn’t like him.”

“What did he do?”

I shrugged. “He’s not you.”

He watched me, his smile slipping away as his eyes softened.

“I used to go on dates all the time. Used to be excited to get dressed up and see where it went. But now it felt like a chore. Getting to know someone new every couple of weeks…seems like a lot of effort.”

He continued to watch me. “Now you know why I don’t do dates.”

“You only do fuck buddies.”

“Yep.”

“And that’s what I am to you?” I asked, trying to keep the sting out of my voice. “A long-term fuck buddy?”

He smirked. “You know that’s not true.”

“Then what am I to you?” I repeated.

“Come on, baby.”

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