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He gasped. I’d shocked him with my crudeness, and he reeled back from me, his hand over his mouth. Tygerians could be terrible prudes, and my omak had been distressing people for years with his mouth. It would have been funny, except…it really wasn’t. I didn’t want him to think badly of me, and what I’d said had been crude. He did come back inside and closed the door behind him though, so there was that.
“I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“I want you to speak to my parents. Tell them what happened. Let them help us figure this out. And then I think maybe you’ll have to marry me.”
The look of utter shock and horror on his face was almost funny, but I wasn’t laughing. “Don’t look at me that way. Like you’re not entirely suitable to become my consort.”
“Rakkur, listen to me. I’m not talking to your parents about any of this. And I’m not at all suitable.”
“You’re in the Imperial guard. That alone would be enough, but you’re also a decorated hero and a war veteran. On top of all that, you’re Tygerian. What more could my fathers want? My omak will approve if he thinks you’ll make me happy and keep me on Tygeria. You know, my brother Anarr is married to a Lycan who is approximately the same status and age as you. Actually, you beat Renard out, because he’s Lycan and you’re a Tygerian. My omak will like you way better.”
“You’re on your way now to meet a king. There’s hardly any comparison.”
“A king of some country from some little planet I never heard of at the far end of the galaxy. I have no expectations it would ever work out, and especially considering what I know now.”
“What do you mean? What is it you think you know?”
“I know now why I’ve never been interested in any of the men my parents have introduced me to. It’s always been you. I’ve compared every man I ever met to you, and they came up lacking. You’re the one, Colonel. I’ve never forgotten you, and I think—no, I know—that you’re all I want.”
His mouth fell open in shock, and he shook his head. “Your Hi…Rakkur, you don’t know what you’re saying. I’m nothing you need. This king might be perfect for you. You have to give him a chance.”
“No. Anyway, how would it be fair to him to raise his hopes? Even if I agreed to marry him, which is a huge ‘if,’ I’d still feel the way I do for you. I told you…this bonding thing goes both ways. Not quite as much for me, because of my human parts, but other parts of me are as Tygerian as yours are, and they’re fully on board. What about that don’t you understand?”
“I don’t understand you or more than about half the words you say. You’re more human than I thought. More human than Tygerian, and you’re not in love with me. Don’t be ridiculous. You have a teenage infatuation.”
“No, I don’t think it was ever just infatuation. And I’m not a teenager. Stop telling me how I feel.”
“Rakkur, I bonded with you when you were sixteen, and we haven’t seen each other in all that time.”
“Actually, it sounds like I bonded with you at the same time. I kissed you, apparently exchanging body fluids when you and I both were feeling some extreme emotions. Then you were forced to maintain contact with me with the rescue breathing. I don’t know how it all works and I don’t think anybody does. But you saved my life, Tariq. That doesn’t make me feel the things I feel for you any less, you know. You’re the one I want, and I know you want me.”
“I don’t.”
“Liar.”
He glared at me. “I’m too old for you, and I’m not a nobleman. I’ve been married before. It’s entirely unsuitable.”
I held up a hand and started raising fingers one at a time. “One, you’re not too old. There are at least ten cycles between Mikos and Ryan, and thirteen between us. That’s not much difference. I told you my brother Anarr is married to man who’s older than he is too, and so is my brother Nicarr. Also, you’re a member of the Warrior class, which is even better than noblemen on our planet. And three, you’re a widower. Your mate died a hero’s death fighting for our empire. Our religion allows widowers to remarry.”
“But they rarely do.”
“It’s uncommon, I admit. But it’s allowed, and our circumstances are entirely different than most.”
“No,” he said, stubbornly shaking his head. “It’s out of the question. Your father gave me this position as your bodyguard, and I won’t betray his trust. I’ll leave as soon as possible after we arrive on Loros, and you won’t ever have to see me again. It’s the only way.”
I was so furious I couldn’t even speak for a moment. I turned my back on him—an extreme insult to a Tygerian warrior, but I was furious. I walked over to the small porthole in my room, and I made my voice as frosty as I could, as I said probably the stupidest thing that ever came out of my mouth.
“No, it’s not the only thing. I can do this. I dismiss you, Colonel. You’re fired. I want another Imperial assigned to me right away. Do whatever you need to do and find one for me. I’ll call my parents and explain we didn’t suit each other.”
The second the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. But I was Blake’s son and stubborn to my core. I heard him gasp behind me, but I hardened my heart. I wouldn’t turn and give him the satisfaction of seeing the tears that had sprung to my eyes.
“Did you hear me, Colonel? Your services are no longer required. Please leave my room.”
“Rakkur, your father said…”
“My father isn’t here.”
“You can’t do this.”
