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“That’s short term. Long term, she’ll claim more in life because she took a chance.”
“I don’t want kids,” Goose spits out. “I was thinking of getting a dog, not a woman or snot machines.”
“What if you could have Coco and a dog?”
“I don’t want someone in my room all the time, touching my things.”
Tapping her forehead, I smile when she smacks away my hand. “You’re seeing it wrong. Probably because you think you’re like Armor or me. But everything doesn’t need to happen this second. You can just hang out with Coco. Have fun and fuck. No one is talking about a lifelong commitment or touching your stuff. I think you’re getting in your own way. Do you know if Coco even wants kids or to share a room with you full-time? No, because you haven’t had any time to get to know each other.”
“Can I really date a chick living in the same place as me?”
“Sure.”
Goose refuses to unclench her jaw and settle down. “I don’t know if I want to be monogamous.”
“Maybe she won’t want to be monogamous, either.”
“Wait, she’s going to cheat on me, huh?”
I laugh at her mood swings. “You need to chill. Get a beer and play cards with Dice. He seems restless. We’re back home. The bad guys are dead. We can breathe with the Valley again.”
Goose’s snarly expression softens in reaction to my final words. She looks over the woodlands. She knows this land. I feel her losing the cranky armor she wraps herself with whenever we travel. Her gaze relaxes as she spots Xenia’s mama cat bolting across the yard.
Breathing easier, Goose smiles at me. “Ruin will give you shit about Austen.”
“I know.”
“Her family is going to try to fuck up things.”
“I know that, too.”
“If you need me, I’ll have your back. I get how Austen is special to you. Plus, you’re good with the crazy bitch,” she says, backing away in case I want to knock her down for trash-talking my woman. “She turns golden when you charm her.”
Goose heads inside, leaving me to center myself. I feel calmer in McMurdo Valley. This town belongs to the Steel Berserkers, and I’m willing to bleed to keep it that way.
However, I don’t know if killing will solve the Halvorson family problem. If it were an option, I’d ride over to Canary Basin and wipe out Urick, Erik, and Peter. Clean out all the old memories and bring Austen to a once special place. She could ride her horses again and regain what was stolen from her.
Since killing the Halvorson family isn’t a possibility, I’ll need to find another way to provide her peace and allow us to build a life together.
AUSTEN
Waking up disoriented, I smell Walla Walla’s cologne and quickly recall where I am. Lifting myself up, I look around the comforting room. I hadn’t noticed the high ceiling when I arrived earlier.
The airy space isn’t what I expected when I daydreamed about Walla Walla’s home. The word “pigsty” feels all wrong for such a beautiful building.
Despite feeling relieved to be in McMurdo Valley, I’m also emotionally wiped out.
My thoughts turn to my clinic. The building had been neglected for years before I bought it. I renovated the property from the ground up. Coco picked lovely chairs for the lobby. I chose the relaxing paint colors. Just because we were located on the shabbier side of town didn’t mean my clients should wait in an unwelcoming lobby.
Now, it’s all gone. The outer walls are still standing, but the inside was ruined by smoke and water damage.
Doctor Elway taught me techniques to use when I was feeling overly negative. I try them now. Resting on my back, I visualize a new clinic similar to the one I lost. I try to imagine it here in McMurdo Valley, but I can’t really picture most of the town.
My head wants to zero in on how my clinic deserves to be rebuilt in Banta City. I feel tired when I consider all the work ahead of me. Outside this room are people I should be talking with, but I don’t have the energy to get out of bed.
I text my mom to see if she’s busy. She immediately calls me.
“I’m worried,” she says rather than hello.
