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Austen shares her body with me in a way I didn’t expect. She’s totally present. I figured she might be a limp noodle, needing my help to feel good. Not even close. She meets my heat with her own.
The only sticking point is her nightgown. I can lift the fabric and explore underneath. However, even when I’m balls deep inside Austen, she tenses at the thought of taking it off. The nightgown is like her security blanket.
Otherwise, we click instantly. Austen wants to fuck. I don’t think she likes hiding from the world. I know she wants me to see her, want her, claim her.
For two hours, Austen and I destroy the barriers she’s created over the years. I think I might lose a few, too. I never noticed I had any. I’ve long felt like a healthy guy with nearly no hangups. Maybe I was fooling myself.
By the time we doze in bed, I trust this woman in a way I never have anyone else. She owns a new part of me.
Too often over the last few years, I’ve worried I’d hit a point in my life where I couldn’t do or be anything new.
The feeling got stronger when I saw my friends marrying good women and having kids. They were all moving forward rather than standing still. Some of them never had any luck with women over the years. Meanwhile, I’d dated plenty of quality chicks, but none of them clicked for me.
Deep inside, I’d started to believe I really was a faulty person. My parents claimed I had money and power, but my life was empty. For years, I figured they were just jealous. Recently, though, their words started digging at me when I saw my friends living better lives.
Once Austen’s snuggled next to me, those worries drop away. I’m not a “dark soul” or whatever else my parents believe. I just hadn’t found the right woman until now.
In the morning, as I find Austen tiptoeing out of the bathroom, we share a smile. I worried she’d reapply her barriers once the sun came up. Instead, I find her still craving my touch.
“Yesterday was wonderful,” she says while settling on the bed next to me. “But I don’t know what happens now.”
Considering her words, I’m unsure if she’s asking for a promise or an itinerary.
“I don’t have a plan,” I admit as I take her hand. “I’m just winging it. I think you are, too. There’s no reason we need to plot everything out, especially when we’ve aced improvising.”
“I used to be more impulsive. I didn’t need a gameplan for everything. I miss feeling that way.”
“I like this safe version of you,” I say, cuddling up next to where she sits. “I also like your wild side. Rather than choosing between the two, why not let yourself be the best of both sides?”
Austen strokes my forehead and studies me. “I would like to go swimming with Coco today. I think it’ll help her relax. Plus, I want to get my head in the right space to wear nothing tonight with you.”
“It’s a sexy nightgown,” I say, and she laughs as I tug at the flannel nightgown. “It doesn’t hamper me at all. If you need to wear it or anything else, I won’t complain.”
“If you wanted to fuck me while you were partially dressed, I’d feel deprived. My mind would zero in on all the reasons why the sex wasn’t as good as if you were naked.”
“You might overthink things, baby.”
“I know, and I’ll try to be more impulsive, but I’ll probably still need the lights low.”
“You were plenty impulsive to show up at my door last night.”
Smiling warmly, Austen is clearly proud of pushing herself to take what she wanted.
“I’m afraid Coco will leave,” she says and loses her smile. “I think she mostly came here to get to know Goose. Though there’s nothing for her back home, she doesn’t seem happy here.”
“It’s only been a few days. You two haven’t even met Wynonna and the girl pack yet. They’ll want to take you out for spa days and boozy lunches. I know they’ll love Coco’s wild stories from her dancing days.”
Austen’s smile returns. “I think she could be happy in McMurdo Valley. She’s long wanted to move away from Banta City and start fresh. I used to offer to help her go somewhere else. Losing her dance career broke something inside her. I didn’t want her to leave, but I also knew she needed more that to be my assistant. In the end, Coco was afraid to go anywhere alone. That’s why I didn’t feel too guilty about asking her to come with me.”
Austen glances at my door and sighs. “But Goose is ignoring her now. Coco’s feelings are hurt, and I think she might prefer to be back in Banta City.”
“Just keep her here for a little longer. Coco hasn’t gotten to do much since arriving. We’re all stuck at the Pigsty right now. Life around here is usually a lot more fun.”
Nodding, Austen doesn’t seem convinced. I don’t think she cares about partying or keeping busy. She seems happy to read and care for animals. Her social life back in Banta City seems to have mostly consisted of following her mom to events. She didn’t have any big hobbies. I realize now how her horses were her great love. Yesterday, she reclaimed a big part of her heart.
After Austen sneaks back to her room to clean up, I consider calling Wynonna to make a house visit. If I keep Coco happy, Austen will be more likely to give McMurdo Valley a real chance.
Fortunately, I hold off on meddling. After my shower, I end up downstairs. Hobo is already outside on the deck, enjoying the warm morning. Xenia cooks up something good in the kitchen. Smokey sips coffee and watches me.
