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“We’re still in charge of this town, even if you sit in this chair and let me push you to the SUV,” I tell Smokey.
Nodding, he does as I instruct and gets his ass in the chair. I give Yagger a final glance, imagining him home soon. He’ll never be the same, but he isn’t dead.
My benevolent dictator mood inspires me to take up Ruin’s suggestion to meet Armor and him at our townie bar, Valley Gin Mill.
“I’ll take us out to eat,” Goose tells Smokey after she claims the driver’s seat. “No reason to hide at the Pigsty all day.”
After they drive off, I enter the bar. In the corner sits Tomcat’s dad, Glenn Childs. Enjoying a late lunch, the old timer gives me a head nod and glances at his nephew. Ruin stands at the bar top with Armor nearby.
“Are you ready to be seen?” my president asks.
My mind flashes with images of every road in McMurdo Valley. I see myself riding with my club brothers. We grew up here, fought and bled to make the Valley ours, and now struggle to stay on top.
Yet, as soon as my hog stashed at the bar roars to life, I can’t picture a single obstacle in my future. I’m the same Walla Walla as I’ve always been. That guy knows his place in the world and he’s willing to bleed to keep it.
AUSTEN
Wynonna demands a promise from Coco, Xenia, and me to join her and the girl crew at the salon in a few days. Once we’re sufficiently on board, she exits while Tomcat enters. They taunt each other over having rowdy kids. I can’t hear what they say exactly, but she clearly wins based on how he frowns while she throws her arms triumphantly in the air.
Soon afterward, Walla Walla texts to say he’s running errands. Somehow, he picked up a motorcycle in town. He’ll be back soon, but Goose is taking Smokey out for a meal.
Life seems to be falling into a normal rhythm. I can’t quite picture my future clinic or the house with Walla Walla. Every time I attempt to sneak a peek beyond this week, I only find me here at the Pigsty.
After Wynonna’s visit, I expect a quiet afternoon. I check on the cats, settling in the storage room and studying the kittens’ behaviors. Coco hides in her room, watching a video. With the Pigsty so quiet during the afternoon, I consider retiring to my room for a nap.
Instead, Dice comes searching for me in the storage room. When he says a man is here to speak with me, I freeze up immediately. My confidence is gone. I recall my mom’s instructions to stop pushing myself.
However, I worry if I hide from stress again, I won’t be able to stop. I’ll fear Walla Walla and riding. I’ll regress until I’ll avoid making decisions.
Walking to the foyer is painful. My chest tightens with every step. I don’t want to face anyone. I wish Walla Walla would sweep in and fix this problem. Instead, I face my fears. Or in this case, my past.
Mack Hubbler stands in the foyer, decked out in denim, a pale blue, buttoned-up shirt, and work boots. A cowboy hat covers his black-and-gray hair. He’s leaning a little forward. His head is tilted downward. I recall how he often stood this way when he was dealing with stress.
His dark eyes catch sight of me. I nearly flee when our gazes meet. My thoughts return to that night when he saved us. He’d been so angry, yet his voice remained normal when he spoke to Hunter and me.
Seeing him again stirs up vivid memories. I instantly feel George’s nail cut my flesh as he tore away my shirt. I smell the booze, BO, and overbearing cologne. I hear Hunter cussing as she fought to break free of the other men’s grips. The sound of her nose breaking echoes in my head.
I start to sway, feeling as if I’ve fallen into the past.
“Are you okay?” Dice asks and rests a hand on my shoulder.
I slap it away before I notice his startled expression. I don’t see those ranch hands. I’m looking into the eyes of a man I know. Dice isn’t a threat.
“I’m sorry.”
“Do you want me to make him leave?” Dice asks and flashes a gaze to Mack. “Should I call Walla Walla?”
Feeling more centered, I think about last night. I need to be the Austen who shared her body with Walla Walla. That version of me can survive a conversation with Mack.
“I’m okay,” I tell Dice and then force my gaze back to Mack. “We can talk outside.”
As I walk through the family room, I steady my breathing and try to center myself. My mind keeps flashing with memories from that night. I can remember the cards I played, the songs on the radio, and the number of drinks the men downed.
Stepping onto the deck, I’m struck with a vivid memory of the exact moment when I sensed the mood shift in the barracks. George smacked my ass and laughed. The other men went still, seeming nervous about consequences. Just as quickly, a ripple of acceptance moved through the space. Suddenly, George wasn’t the only man laughing.
Mack joins me outside and closes the door behind us. “I wasn’t looking to upset you.”
Nodding, I settle into a chair to keep my knees from buckling. “Did he send you?”
