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“No, Urick’s past making moves,” Mack says and shakes his head when I gesture for him to sit. “Many days, he doesn’t even make much sense. His mind’s started to go.”
“Then, why have you come here?”
Mack’s dark eyes survey the beautiful land behind the Pigsty. When his gaze returns to me, he says in a quiet tone. “He keeps calling for you.”
“Does he know I’m in McMurdo Valley?”
“No. For years, he’s called for you whenever he’s in a bad place. After his stroke, he couldn’t say much except your name. It annoyed your brothers to no end.”
I force a smile to mimic his. “What do you want me to do?”
“Understand, maybe? I don’t know really. Urick is a complicated man. He saved me from my dark path. I’m a better man because of him. But I’m not blind to his mistakes.”
When I can’t conjure the strength to speak, he continues, “Urick was stupid to react like he did. It was all ego on his part. He just had to believe there was a misunderstanding. By the time he climbed off his high horse and realized he was wrong, you’d left.”
“That doesn’t change what happened.”
“Though Urick eventually punished those men in the way he should have, it was too late to save your relationship. He kept thinking you’d reach out to him. Urick’s never really understood people.”
“I loved my dad. I put him up on a pedestal. I don’t think I can see him as anything except a god or a monster,” I say and then wipe my wet eyes. “But you saved Hunter and me. I hate to imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t helped us. Those men were out of control. They had to know we’d tell on them afterward. I’ve always believed you saved our lives.”
“I did what any decent man would have done.”
“Don’t be humble. I know you cleaned up many of my father’s messes. No doubt, my brothers’ problems, too. Now, you’re here, trying to fix another one.”
“I’d never have bothered you in Banta City. But with you being so close by, I was inspired to try.”
“But if Urick’s mind is gone, what’s the point of me seeing him? That’s what you want, right? You’re not just here to dredge up bad memories.”
Mack rubs at his eyes and admits, “I want several things. Some are selfish, some not so much.”
“Explain.”
“Urick saved me. I love him like a father. He’s been struggling a lot the last week since the attack. He knows Erik is in a bad way. He understands how you were in danger. When I told him how you’d been saved by the Berserkers, he cried. His life is small now. He doesn’t care about the horses or his land. He just wants to see you.”
“I can’t forgive him.”
Mack hesitates, trying to find the right words. “I want you to see how he suffered. The man betrayed you by siding with those assholes. Urick never hid how you were his favorite. Yet, when he needed to step up in a way that hurt his ego, he fucked up. Urick might have instantly regretted his choice, but that doesn’t change what happened. I want you to know he didn’t get away with what he did.”
I let his words settle. A part of me felt like Urick’s reaction meant he didn’t really love me. My entire life with him became a lie. I was his pretty daughter he could show off, but deep inside, he didn’t really care.
Years ago, I told Doctor Elway, “Urick never saw the real me.”
I wanted to forget the good memories I shared with my dad. They felt like lies. Yet, another part of me still wanted to believe in my dad. His love felt good.
“What are your other reasons?” I ask Mack.
“I can’t deny I’d like Urick to have a little peace before the end comes. He’s surrounded by vipers, which honestly is what he deserves. He didn’t cherish the people who mattered.”
“Does he cherish you?”
“Yeah, but that’s because I’m his success story. I proved he didn’t waste years on ungrateful, useless men. Also, I figure he likes claiming I’m his son because he doesn’t like his actual boys.”
“Those both seem like selfless reasons for coming here.”
Mack chuckles and steps back. Adjusting the hat on his head, he doesn’t want to explain his other reasons. Finally, he looks at me and sighs.
“I don’t like your brothers.”
