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And Gavin held me through it all.
Once I calmed down enough to take normal breaths, I told him the first thing I always remembered about Brendan. “He was fearless except for spiders. Hated them. I used to make little pipe cleaner spiders and hide them in his bed. When I was scared,Iused to hide in his bed. We’d spend hours under the covers with him telling me stories about horses.”
Gavin tilted his head to look down at me. “Horses?”
“I wanted to own a horse farm for sad horses when I grew up, so I could make them happy again.”
He chuckled above me. “And now you adopt ducks instead.”
“Just one duck, but Brendan would have loved Henry. He was six years older than me, but he was my best friend.”
“How did he save your life?”
I tucked my face against Gavin’s neck, riding out the usual guilt. Most people assumed he’d given me an organ or something equally noble, but no. Brendan died from my stubbornness.
“Did anyone tell you about the really bad storms that tore through central Texas sixteen years ago?”
He gave a single head shake. “I grew up in Ohio, and if it wasn’t related to hockey, I probably didn’t notice.”
“My parents sent me and my brother to this exclusive private school. Preschool through graduation with the same rich people. I was in kindergarten, at recess playing some castle game where I told my friends what job they’d have in my court.”
Gavin gave a short laugh as he combed his fingers through my hair. “Sounds about right.”
“They’d warned us if the storm hit, we’d have to switch to indoor quiet time in the gym. I hated quiet time because all the kids were stuffed in there together doing what the teachers wanted. When the sirens went off, I wasn’t done creating my kingdom. The teachers came around collecting everyone, but I crawled under the slide and hid.”
My voice broke, and his hand trailed down my hair to stroke my back. “Breathe, Eva.”
I took a couple of slow, deep breaths until I had control of my vocal cords again. “Brendan couldn’t see me with my class in the gym, so he snuck outside. I was crying when he found me. Big angry clouds blocked out the sun, and the wind had pulled the bow out of my hair. I refused to come out from under the slide, so he wedged himself in behind me, curling around my back. I don’t remember the tornado or how close it came, but Idoremember the crack of the play structure breaking.”
The sound haunted me.
“I woke up in the hospital and called for Brendan. My parents left the room. I didn’t understand what had happened. I cried and screamed for my brother until one of the nurses got up the lady balls to tell me why I couldn’t have him. My twelve-year-old brother had shielded me from the playground collapsing. I had a minor concussion from hitting my head on the slide, but no other injuries. He died.”
Gavin’s chest rose and fell under my cheek, and I focused on the steady rhythm. The chaos of my emotions settled, and for once, I felt lighter.
“I know nothing I say will fix it, but I’m glad you had those years with your brother where you knew, absolutely, he loved you. That’s what I remind myself when things get dark.”
I remembered his comment from our fateful day in the courtyard. “Your mom?”
“Both my parents died my senior year of high school. I’d already been drafted by Dallas, and Danny and I were playing hockey on the other side of the state with the USHL. They were driving to one of our games when they were hit by a drunk driver.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hurting for him.
He blew out a breath. “It sucked. So much. If I hadn’t pushed to be the best, play at the highest level, we’d have been at a local high school and my parents wouldn’t have been on that road.”
“If you hadn’t pushed, you wouldn’t be one of the best college hockey players and on the verge of playing professionally in Dallas. You wouldn’t be here.”
“Neither would you.”
We lay together, connected by our losses, and the paths that led to this moment. Gavindidunderstand. Actions could have disastrous consequences.
“Have you talked to your parents about today?” he asked.
I let out a dry laugh. “We don’t talk about Brendan. Family rule. My daddidcall earlier, and I made the mistake of answering. He has another potential suitor for me.”
Gavin tensed up, very slightly, and let me change the subject. “Why are you letting your dad set you up?”
“How much did Cole tell you about the guy at the game?”
