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I swallow my discomfort and don’t look away. “Yes.”
But I don’t know the details. No one talks about it. I’ve wondered what it must’ve been like, and every time, I come back to one thought—traumatizing.
“We were driving down the road, and Mom was singing one of her favorite songs.” He begins his story with downcast eyes and hands in his pockets.
My breath catches in my throat as I realize what he’s about to do, but I manage to say, “You don’t have to tell me.”
“I have to. It’s the only way I know how to explain.” His gaze lifts and holds mine. “Please?”
“Okay,” I whisper.
Brady looks up at the sky. “Austin was in the back, and I was in the passenger seat. I remember being annoyed. I hated Celine Dion. I think I even said something about it being dumb...” He trails off with a grimace. “And then she lost control of the car. I still don’t know why or how.”
A breath shudders through his chest, and he drops into a squat, covering his mouth with his hand and trying to breathe, but based on the tension riding him, he’s struggling. I’m moving before I can talk myself out of it. I might still be a little mad, but this can’t be easy. This is his mom he’s talking about. He was only a kid.
I wrap my arms around his shoulders and press my front into his back, resting my cheek on his shoulder. “You don’t have to do this.”
He sucks in a breath, and I feel the way it trembles through his lungs. “I have to explain why I am the way I am. Anyway, the car crashed. The airbags didn’t deploy.” His voice is strained, every word torn from somewhere deep inside of him. “There was smoke coming from the hood, and I remember being so afraid.” Brady shakes in my hold, and I squeeze him, trying to keep him grounded. “And then Mom...she was covered in blood, but she was okay. She realized my brothers weren’t awake, but I was. She asked me to save them. She begged me to get them out. I asked her what about her, and she said she would be okay. She said we’d get her out last.” He pauses to take a breath.
“I didn’t want to leave her, but the fire was getting bigger. I got Austin first. Then Dylan.” He swipes at his cheeks and makes a frustrated sound, shaking his head. “I wanted to go back to help her, but it was too late. The fire was everywhere.”
My chest aches and my throat burns, my own tears slipping down my cheeks.
“The worst part is, she didn’t scream, even though it had to hurt. She didn’t make a sound, almost like she was trying to spare me from that.” He sobs but muffles the sound with his hand, taking choppy breaths. “She asked me to protect them, Quinn.” His voice breaks when he says my name.
I pinch my eyes shut and try not to cry harder.
“She begged me to save them, and I did. I got them out. I couldn’t help her, but I protected them. I did what I promised and I—” He stops and swallows another sound that tugs at my heart. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Brady. It’s okay to cry.”
He shakes his head but continues the story. “Everything I do, every time I give Dylan a hard time or I push Austin to do more, it’s me trying to keep that promise. I know everyone thinks I’m an asshole, but my brothers are stubborn, and now that they’readults, the only way I know how to protect them is to ensure they have good jobs. That they’re successful.”
Quiet settles between us, and I stay where I am, holding him because he’s still trembling. His hands try to erase his tears, but they come so fast that it’s impossible for him to get rid of the evidence.
“I told her I’d protect them.” He drops his head into his hands. “But all I did was push them away. When I found out about your scent, I was so mad.”
I try not to move, for fear of him stopping.
“I was so pissed at the world. The one thing we had to look forward to was maybe finding our mate. From when we were kids, we knew we would be a pack. It made sense. We bonded in ways that no one would ever understand.” He pauses, and in the moments between his story, I can’t help but be mad at the world too. “And then there was you. Always there. Always watching. Hiding your scent from us.”
I shake my head. “I was hiding from everyone.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “But once I found out you were our scent match...it felt like I’d been deceived, and on top of that, fate had fucked me once again, telling me I didn’t deserve what everyone else had.” He turns suddenly, and I sit back on my heels, searching his face. Pain is the only adequate way to describe what I see.So much pain. “In my mind, you were just another threat. You were our stepsister and it couldn’t happen. It was messy, and there’s no telling how our parents would react. So, I did what I always do.”
“You tried to protect them by making me miserable.”
He grimaces. “And in the end, it was me who hurt them. And you.”
I chew on my cheek and study him. “You know that you can’t control everything, right?”
“Yeah.” He blows out a hard breath. “And I know that I can’t stop what I started, and seeing them protect you from me—” He breaks off, face contorting as more tears escape. “It fucking hurts,” he finally says. “I’m so sorry, Quinn. I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t mean to. I tried to stay away, but you were always there, that perfect scent just out of reach, and no matter how hard I tried to forget it, I couldn’t. I know this doesn’t excuse what I did or make it better, but I needed you to know that I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt you.”
My chest aches for him. For the little boy. For the man who has done everything he can the only way he knows how. But he’s here now, trying to make it better, admitting to being wrong. “Brady,” I whisper. “It’s okay. I understand you were trying to keep them safe.”
He nods. “I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want them to hate me. I want, fuck, Quinn. I want my pack. I want my brothers and I want...I want you too.”
My stomach flips and my heart tremors with excitement. “You really hurt me,” I confess. “You claimed me. After years of destroying myself and pretending like you meant nothing, you gave me everything. You were finally mine.” I swallow the tears. “And you ripped it away. You marked me and rejected me, Brady. You almost broke me.”
