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“No, I did all the work to find out about that place. I wanna be the one who sees it through,” I argue.
“Savannah, I told you, it could be dangerous. Can you please just trust me on this one?” He nips my ear with his teeth.
“You like me because I’m spirited.” I push him back and look into his eyes. “Don’t try and clip my wings. I’m going to that house tomorrow with or without you,” I tell him firmly, and when he drops his head and growls in frustration, I slide my hand into the waistband of his boxers and grip my hand around his cock.
“Now, if you’re gonna pin a girl to her mattress, you better plan to do a lot more than kiss her.” I stroke him through my fist and watch his head drop, looking between us and watching.
“Oh, I got plans,” he assures me, wrapping his strong hand around my throat while his head lowers and trails kisses all the way down my body. He keeps his grip on me tight when his mouth gets to my pantie line, and I writhe against the mattress when he kisses me through the fabric. The thought of his tongue touching my flesh already has me soaking through the cotton.
“I can feel your pulse, Red.” The veins in his outstretched arm stand out as grips his fingers tighter around my throat, and I watch his bicep tense as he kisses me again.
His free hand tugs my panties off my hips, then when his finger starts stroking between my pussy lips, I feel that pulse beat against his fingertips. He circles my entrance, teasing it before he pushes one of his thick fingers inside me, and his thumb stroking against my clit at the same time makes me moan out loud for him.
“You look so pretty when you're being submissive,” he tells me, his lips pressing against my thighs, so close to where I want them.
“You want my tongue, don’t you? You want me to taste how wet you are for me?”
I nod back at him.
“Come for me like this, and I’ll give you my tongue,” he bargains. “Spill your pussy all over my fingers and I’ll lick you clean.” Just the thought of it has my hips grinding to the rhythm of his fingers. “I want to taste you, Savannah. I’ve thought about it all fuckin’ day.” My body stills and I feel my muscles clamp as I do as he requests and come for him. It feels so intense with him watching me like I’m some kind of exhibit and when he releases my neck from his grasp and slides it down to one of my tits, he squeezes me unforgivingly, repositioning his body so his head’s between my legs. I wait with anticipation as he slowly drops his mouth and makes a long, slow trail through my pussy lips with his tongue. His eyes are fixed on mine, absorbing all the pleasure he’s giving me, and I’m starting to figure, that with us it’s always gonna be this intense.
Cole owns my body, he can make it do whatever he wants it to, and right now I’m pretty certain he wants it to come for him again. I grab a handful of his dark hair as his tongue expertly strokes all the right places, keeping me so close to the edge Ifeel like I could erupt at any second. The kind of pleasure Cole gives is so consuming I almost fear it. But at the same time, it’s addictive.
I feel my stomach clench and my toes curl when a second orgasm starts to take over, and with Cole’s fingers kneading the tit he’s clenching I give it up for him.
“Say it again.” He slides his body back up mine and kisses my lips so I can taste myself on his.
“Say what?” I whisper, trying to figure out what he means.
“Tell me you’re mine.” He slides his finger over my face and places the hair that’s fallen behind my ear.
“You know I’m yours. Cole, I’m besotted, madly in love with you, and I don’t care how desperate that makes me sound, it’s the truth. Nothing’s gonna change it.”
“Nothing?” He frowns as if he’s hurting somehow.
“Nothing.” I smile back at him, letting him see how simple this could be.
“Okay.” He kisses me again while his cock slowly edges inside me. I grip his head as his kisses drop to my neck, and his hips rotate with mine. I lose count of how many times I come after that, and it doesn't matter that he doesn’t say he loves me back. He doesn’t need to. I feel it in the way he grips my flesh like he’s scared to let go in case I run away. I sense it in the way his lips touch my skin as if they’re savoring it.
His hands leave my body and squeeze at the mattress when he comes, and all the tension drains from his large, powerful body as he releases inside me. His forehead drops onto mine and I feel his chest rising and falling like he’s scared. I let him have a few moments before I raise my hand and stroke it over his bristly jaw.
“Promise me that this is us now. Promise me you’ll never shut me out because I won’t survive it again, Cole.”
“I promise.” He nods, and when I see the sincerity in his eyes, for the first time in my life, I doubt nothing.
“Look what you did, Cole.” I hear her voice as I watch my brothers clawing through the dirt with their bare hands. When they get to her there’s barely any flesh left on her bones. Garrett lifts her out and collapses to his knees, holding her skull in his palms. Some of her hair still clings to it but it doesn’t cover the hole I blew into the back of it.
“What did you do?” Wade shakes his head at me. He isn’t a man anymore, he’s the scared little boy Mama left behind. “What did you do to my mama?” He slams his hands into my stomach as the tears fill his eyes. “I want my mommy.” I hear him screamin’ the way he used to in the weeks after she left and I want to comfort him, but I can’t. He has to get used to how it feels to miss her because she’s never comin’ back.
“Cole.” I hear my name being screamed in the distance and I turn my back on my brothers, leaving them with their grief to chase it. I don’t know how I got here, but I’m on Mason land now. I follow the screams until I see her lying there by the river bank and realize that I’m too late.
“Save me, Cole.” I hear Aubrey’s voice but her lips ain’t moving. They’re still and blue. Her beautiful green eyes are dead and her skin is gray. “Save me.” I hear it again and slap my own face real hard because what I’m seeing can’t bereal. I wanna wake up now. I squeeze my eyes shut real tight but when I open them, I see Dalton. I feel his blood drenching through my shirt as I carry his body. I hear a baby wailing in the distance like it needs to be saved, and the weight of Dalton’s body becomes impossible to hold. I force my eyes shut again, hoping to escape but it opens another door to hell. One with my sister on Mayor Walker’s desk, looking at me over his shoulder while he thrusts inside her. She smiles like she’s happy to see me, and when she places her finger over her lips and makes a shhhh sound, I feel the bile in my stomach rise to my throat and choke me.
I sit up and grasp my hands around my neck, trying to catch my breath and sighing with relief when I realize I’m not in Mayor Walker’s office anymore. I’m in my old room, and Savannah is sleeping soundly next to me. Safe, breathing, and undisturbed. My body is drenched in sweat and my chest feels too tight to take another breath but I focus and try my best to pull everything back together.
This happens all the time. But not usually with them all together. It’s a torture that I’ll never be free from and I deserve every scene of suffering that I endure. I look at Savannah, she has a hint of a smile on her face while she sleeps. She’s happy, she’s content and somehow I feel guilty for that too, because despite how hard I’ve tried, I’m too selfish, and I love her too much to let her go.
Without her, all I am is the memories that haunt me. I promised her tonight that I wouldn’t shut her out anymore, but I have to shut her out from this. This is a burden I have to carry alone and there’s only one way I know how to deal with it. I kiss her gently on the cheek before I get out of bed and pull on my jeans, pain, and pure rage pulsing under my skin as I head down the stairs and out the front door.
