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I shouldn’t have let it happen, but at the same time, I can’t bring myself to regret it completely.
That’s why I doubled down on avoiding the guys because I could feel myself starting to give in to what they wanted from me. I don’t know if that’s the best idea and it’s not just because of the whole stepfamily thing.
I’ve never had good luck with men and relationships. It’s one of the reasons working for the club and casual hookups was enough for me. It wasn’t about anything more than having a bit of fun and it was never going to go past that.
When my heart gets involved, things get messy as fuck. I’m not looking forward to getting my heart broken by not one man, but three. And to not be able to avoid them when the inevitable happens? Yeah, that sounds like a nightmare.
And I know, without a doubt, the Winston brothers have the power to break my heart. Hell, I think I was half in love with them after the night we spent together at Club Ecstasy and that was all heat and passion. It would be a horrible idea for me to let them in even more.
It’s in the way they look at me, like I’m the most important person in the world to them. I didn’t understand why they looked at me that way the night of the key party, but I get it now. They knew who I was, and I have a feeling they set it up to ensure they pulled my key. Why else would they be there?
I’m not going to be asking for confirmation. I don’t need it.
I should be mad, but I’m not. It’s flattering in an over-the-top, stalker kind of way. I’m aware it should be a huge red flag, but I just can’t bring myself to feel that way.
Sue me.
I pop my head out of my office and glance down the hallway to make sure none of the guys are in sight. When I don’t see anyone, I hustle down to the breakroom to grab another cup of coffee.
Honestly, as much as I resisted making this move and working for Albert’s company, I’m glad I did. I love my job and I think I’ve taken to it quickly. I’m able to put my skills of organization, critical thinking, and management into practice.
After my first week, I feel like I’ve gotten a handle on everything expected of me. My next step is to take some time and meet all the realtors and get an update on where they’re at and what they need from me so I can support them, and the business, to the best of my ability.
I make my coffee quickly, choosing the largest mug I can find in the cupboard since I braved the hallway and the possibility of seeing my stepbrothers. When I turn around, Lachlan is standing in the doorway while looking right at me.
The hunger written all over his face as his eyes take me in has my heart pounding in my chest. I do want him. I want them all and I can’t deny it anymore.
What I can’t wrap my head around is the fact that our parents are married. It’s not about me being worried about people judging me, I gave up on giving a shit about how people view me a long time ago. But I refuse to embarrass or bring shame to my mom. She doesn’t deserve it.
If, and it is a big fucking if, I was to pursue what the brothers are offering me, would our relationship negatively affect the business? I don’t want that to happen either.
It would kill me.
Albert worked too hard to make the company what it is. I won’t be the person who stands in the way of its success. I know Jordan says that they aren’t worried about it, but I am. How could I not be?
“Hi?” My voice is shaky as I greet Lachlan and I find myself gulping as he takes a step farther into the room. “What’s up? Did you need something?” The way he smirks at me as I start to ramble has me squeezing my thighs together and I’m quick to add on, “I meant in terms of work. Did you need something work related?”
“No,” he growls and takes another step toward me. He tilts his head to the side to study me. If he weren’t standing between me and the door, I would bolt for it right now.
There’s just something about Lachlan I can’t ignore. Maybe it’s because he’s the oldest of the brothers or maybe it’s just because he’s him. I’m not sure and I don’t think it matters. He has a presence which makes me want to melt into him.
It’s the first thing I noticed when I met him at Club Ecstasy, and it hasn’t diminished with the more time I’ve spent around him. I’m still not sure how I stopped from throwing myself at him when he and Jordan cornered me in the bathroom after the awkward as fuck family dinner.
His voice is like honey, “Did you have fun going out with Gia?”
I find myself smiling without meaning to. “I did,” my answer is clipped as I try not to think about it.
Gia is a riot to be around, and she’s genuine. I’ve been around a lot of fake women because of the club, and it has made me appreciate someone genuine and kind. She reminds me a lot of Evelyn and it’s nice to have that little bit of home here.
Gia made me laugh while she showed me a few of her favorite spots. It wasn’t about going out to meet some guy, we just got to know each other while having a few drinks and some food. It was exactly what I needed. It helped to make me feel like I might be able to make a home here in Phoenix.
Even if I keep putting distance between myself and the brothers. For my own wellbeing and sanity, of course.
Without even realizing it, Lachlan has closed the distance between us. He reaches up and cups my cheek for a moment. The action is so intimate and sweet that the back of my eyes burn with unshed tears.
I’ve been putting walls up between myself and men for a long fucking time. Having not one but three men treat me with so much care is a full-frontal assault to those walls. I can’t let it happen and force myself to take a step back.
The look of sadness that crosses Lachlan’s face has my heart aching. He recovers quickly and gives me a small smile. It’s wrong how much I want to see him smile fully. The man is already hot as hell, but if he were to smile at me? Talk about swoony and knee-weakening.
