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“Because he raped my wife!” I roared, jumping to my feet, pacing the room. “She was mine and I couldn’t protect her.”
“How could you protect what you didn’t know?”
“Because she didn’t tell me.”
Torment leaned forward in his chair and grinned. “Say that again.”
“She didn’t tell me.”
Hearing the words rattle around in my head, I stopped pacing and stood stock still. She didn’t tell me. How could I protect her if I didn’t know she needed protection? She didn’t tell me. I never knew. She took away my ability to provide the basic stability I vowed to give her. She took away my power to do what’s been ingrained in me from birth. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always fought for the weak, the impoverished, the ones unable to protect themselves. Instead of coming to me with what happened, trusting me to protect her, she ran.
“While you are justified in your anger regarding Cynic’s actions, I think you are angrier with the fact that your submissive kept it from you. Marriage is hard enough between two people, but bring in a Dominant and Submissive relationship into the mix and lines will get crossed.”
“She wasn’t thinking like a submissive afterward.”
Torment shook his head. “No, she wasn’t. She was thinking like a woman who had just suffered the vilest attack a woman could experience. A real submissive wouldn’t hesitate in telling her Dominant what happened. A real submissive would expect her Dominant to fix everything, protect her, make everything better. How did Largo become your submissive?”
“She was curious. She’s always been curious by nature. That’s one of the things I love about her. We’ve always had a lively sex life. She wanted to explore the lifestyle more. I’ve never denied her anything and told her I would look into it.”
“Was it all the time?”
I shook my head. “No. Only when she wanted something more.”
“So, is it safe to say, the both of you were just voyeurs to the BDSM scene?”
I nodded.
“There is a cardinal rule in the BDSM scene when it comes to a Dominant-Submissive relationship. Trust. Without trust, there is no relationship. Did Largo ever give you any indication that she wanted to live the lifestyle full time?”
“No.”
“But you collared her?”
I nodded. “Yes. She met a woman at the Playground and loved the collar she wore. I thought Largo would like one of her own. So, I bought her one.”
“I see,” Torment said, leaning back in his chair. “So, you bought your wife a necklace?”
“Yes.”
“Mercy, while it’s perfectly normal for you and Largo to explore your sexuality, that doesn’t make you dominant or Largo submissive. We all have dominant and submissive traits, but that doesn’t mean we are one or the other. Anyone can be both. Take you, for example. While you have many dominant traits, when it comes to your wife, you typically follow her lead.”
I scoffed. “Bullshit.”
“Really?” Torment challenged. “So, you didn’t panic when Largo went into labor with Sophia and she was forced to drive herself to the hospital? Or how about the time Sophia got theflu? Remind me again who wanted to fly Sophia to the CDC in Atlanta so they could fix her.”
“Shut up, asshole.” I smirked, knowing he was right.
“Face it, Mercy, the relationship you have with Largo is give-and-take. Each of you have dominant traits and defer to each other when needed. That’s marriage. A healthy marriage.”
“Then why can’t I let go of this anger? Why, when I close my eyes, do I see Cynic fucking my wife? Why can’t I look at my wife and not see a tarnished woman? He violated her. She was innocent. Yet, I can’t get those images out of my head.”
“Because Cynic didn’t just hurt Largo. He hurt you too, Mercy,” Torment stated factually. “While most people rally around the victim, some of these victims have spouses and people generally forget that the spouse is a victim too. Rape doesn’t just hurt the victim, Mercy. When a wife is violated, so is the husband because, as her spouse, he feels as if he failed to do the one thing he promised to always do. It’s psychologically impossible for a husband not to feel the aftereffects of a wife’s violation. Largo has had three years to come to terms with what’s happened to her. You just learned the fact. What you are feeling is perfectly normal. You are angry, hurt, confused, but mainly you feel helpless because you know there is nothing you can do or say to make it better for her. Cynic took your ability to protect your wife away from you. And being her husband, that’s all you really want to do, Mercy, and because you couldn’t protect her, you blame the one person whose already been victimized, needing to hurt her as much as you hurt for your failure to protect her.”
“I don’t blame Largo.”
“So Largo was free to go to the Playground alone?”
“No. I asked her never to go without me.”
