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Prologue
ROCCO
Preston, 1989
My insides are twisting, my stomach aching from the pull towards her door. Each step I make, I think about stopping and going back. She won’t want to see me again; I’ve left her too many times like this. This time though, I’m not flying back to the other side of the world. No, this time I’m staying here. Granted, we’ll be closer than ever, but this will be the last time she sees me.
I wish it wasn’t, but it has to be. Jainey Fletcher is getting married.
Michael Reed’s a nice guy; always was. Top of the class at school, head boy, captain of the tennis club, the man never put a foot wrong. I heard he and Jainey stayed in touch after high school, even went to Ibiza together before Jainey started her nursing. If she deserved to be with any guy in the world,hewould be the best person for her.Hecould give Jainey the life I know I would never be able to give her. The one where she wouldn’t have to hide or hate in order to survive.
But there’s one problem; I know she doesn’t love him.
I step closer to her house, her favourite red roses hidden behind my back. When I first left her, Jainey cried into myshoulder, and being only sixteen at the time, I had no fucking clue what to say, or what to do to make her feel better. I snatched the biggest rose I could see from a nearby flowerbed lining the pavilion we were sat at. Bastard thing cut my hand, but she accepted it; promised to always think of me whenever she looked at one.
The organ in my chest had thumped so loudly in my ears when she said those words that from that moment, I knew how I’d make sure she never forgot me. I sent roses every birthday and made sure to leave one on her doorstep whenever I flew back.
My heart starts thumping in an all too familiar way as I push open the iron gate at the end of her drive. I don’t manage more than five steps before the front door to Jainey’s house slips open and she’s stood on the doorstep, looking at me.
The same moment passes between us like it did when I saw her last month at the Emberley High School reunion. Her eyes lock onto mine; fire and ice colliding in a vortex of heat mixed with pain.
I step closer, lifting my feet steadily, one after the other.
“What are you doing here?” I hear her whisper from the door.
I plant my final step and go to lift the roses towards her, but her face changes; her eyes drop and fill with glistening liquid in the corners. “Jainey?”
“You can’t be here, Rocco.”
I sigh. “I know, I won’t be here long, I just—”
“—you need to leave.”
Looking up, I catch a tear leave her eye, and she moves quickly to wipe it away.
“Jainey, I—”
“—it’s okay,” she says, cutting me off again. “I need you to go, please… just go away.”
Something’s up. “What’s wrong?” I ask, stepping closer toher. Needing to touch her.
She moves towards me as if she needs me close to her too, and the smell of her perfume has me shutting my eyes, wishing I could lose myself in her again.
“Rocco, please—”
“—Jane, who’s there?” I hear her father call from the kitchen in the back.
She looks at me, wiping another tear off her face. “Postman, Dad.”
Her reply makes me smile.
She pulls the door to behind her, and I don’t move as she steps forwards, her body close to mine now. “Rocco… I need you to leave, and,” her bottom lip shakes, “and don’t come back.”
I know I came here to say goodbye for good this time, but the scared look in her eyes makes me wonder whether something else is causing her to be upset. My hands instinctively move to stroke the sides of her arms.
Jainey sees the roses and her eyes don’t shift from them. Her lips wobble again, and I lower my hands from her arms, holding the roses in front of her. “Delivery,” I say stretching a smile.
“Rocco,” she whispers, taking them from me.
