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Her eyes shifted. She was unsure of me. I still haven’t said anything. I was drinking my fill of her.
I managed to say, “Hey.”
She inched closer, half an arm’s length separated us, she whispered in my ear. Her breath was hot, hitched. She smelled of apples. She must have had a mojito.
“Can we talk?”
I reached for her hand and slowly led her outside. Dave said, “I guess you’re heading out, huh?”
Sedona turned to him and to the guys, “Bye guys. See you later.”
She was being polite. I nodded to them and she followed me out.
I was not able to help myself. I missed her. So much. No contact for almost a week. I missed her smile; her laughter; and, her presence. As soon as we were out the door, I pulled her next to me and kissed her. This was probably the worst place to be doing this. This was probably going to end up in that Pepper Site. I didn’t care. She was here. That was all that mattered.
“Babe” I heard her voice in between breaths.
“Mmmmm” I said, I could not stop kissing her.
She pulled away slowly and said, “I need to talk to you.” Her eyes were heated.
I gathered all the self-control that I could muster and nodded.
She led the way and we walked towards the park. I held her hand the whole time. I wanted to do more. Much, much more. She wanted to talk. I knew we needed to talk.
Sedona
He missed me. As much as I missed him. I felt it in his kiss. It was difficult to pull out from that hot kiss but I needed to get everything out in the open.
He was still holding my hand as we sat on the bench. There were a few people mulling around. It was dark but I felt safe. With Zander, I always felt safe.
I had practiced what I was going to say to him countless times in my head. I memorized everything. Now, I was here and he was here. His presence jumbled my thoughts. In the deepest part of my brain, I had stored memory of what I wanted to say. That’s all it was - a memory. I had no idea what to say. He was waiting on me.
“Zander, I’m sorry.” There it was. The long sentences that I had composed in my head summed up to one thing –apology.
He was still listening. He hadn’t moved an inch. He might have blinked but in the dark, I couldn’t see his eyes. His profile emanated tension.
I leaned in closer.
This man gave me so much. He meant a lot to me. He needed to know just how much he meant to me.
“I’m sorry for lying to you about Brennan and all that happened because of my lies,” I said softly.
His jaw clenched. His hand tightened his hold on me.
“Brennan and I, we had a history. He used to be my friend, you know, before he was my boyfriend,” I breathed in his scent, “He’s a good guy. My belief that he’s a good guy was what made me hide anything from you. He will always have a place in my life.”
Zander’s voice was tight, “I don’t think any of this is making me feel any better.”
I gulped. He was getting angry again.
“Zander, I need you to understand why I did it,” I paused.
“Go on…” his words frosty.
“I thought that he would go away. When he came into my apartment that one day, that was a side of him that I’ve never seen before. After that, he stayed away. I mean, he texted and called a couple of times but he never came to visit me again so I thought it was ok.”
He was looking away from me. I could tell his anger was lingering below the surface.
