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Rick held on to his beliefs as a mantra of life, sparing himself from potential heartaches later on. His dad lived the rest of his life in physical and emotional pain. Before he died, he talked about his ex-wife, still very much heartbroken by her abandonment.
None of them had seen her in years. She moved back to Seoul after leaving the family, and he hadn’t seen her since. Rick heard through the grapevines of her visiting here and there, but she didn’t even try to reach out to her ex-husband and sons. She wasn’t there at the funeral when Rick reluctantly sent her the invitation.
He was grateful she left. He couldn’t imagine what kind of mother she would be if she stayed. She didn’t bother to call or even send help when they struggled with the care of their dad while trying to live out their childhood.
Rick got the brunt of it. Alex was too young to understand much. As the eldest, Rick carried the full responsibility once he saw their father reach a breaking point with his health.
By the time Rick was sixteen and allowed to get a job, he did. He worked at the mall after school at a pretzel stand and at a burger shack on the weekends. He had to give up sports after only being able to keep up for a year.
His brother had the more ideal childhood. Besides having to take care of their dad while Rick worked, he was able to participate in additional educational curricula that gave him the opportunity to advance academically. Their dad died before he could see Alex graduate and become a successful doctor, but he would be just as proud as Rick was.
The effect his mother’s abandonment had on him was significant. He’d actively avoided the wealthy community and still found himself around them. Alex had ironically made a best friend out of one Charlotte Ha.
Charlie wasn’t wrong accusing him of carrying his resentment close. She didn’t know what it was like to have to grow up before puberty hit. He may have handled it poorly, but the point was made.
She didn’t take his honesty well, and that was unfortunate, but maybe this was what should have happened. They go their separate lives as they wouldn’t have been compatible.
There was nothing he could do now. Charlie hadn’t answered his texts or taken his calls when he wanted to check on her, understandably still upset.
It was all fucked. Alex and Sarah would have questions, too. He hoped this wouldn’t severely affect any of their relationships. Even if he and Charlie couldn’t work out, he still cared about her.
“You okay, babe?” Sarah asked before handing Charlie a glass of water. Her spectacles fell to the bridge of her nose as she studied Charlie curiously. “You look a little blue.”
Charlie’s hand immediately went to her face, unconsciously feeling the dry skin after crying like a baby. She was warned about excessive crying causing hydration, but she didn’twantto cry, especially not over someone who didn’t deserve her tears. She just couldn’t stop.
“I’m okay.” Charlie said unconvincingly.
It had been a week since she saw Rick. That night played back in her mind like a recap of embarrassing moments she never wanted to relive. He had tried calling her the day after, but she wasn’t in the mood. From the lack of messages over the last two days, he must have gotten the hint.
She did not want to see or talk to him. Despite the time apart, the hurt still lingered like a fresh wound. She thought the space would help her forget, but it was only growing stronger. She didn’t want to give his opinions so much weight, but when they grew close, he had somehow made himself important to her. He made his opinions matter to her.
His words cut deep, and his judgments struck all the nerves. Not only did he bring her down, but he added salt to injury by confirming her lifelong struggle of feeling like she was never good enough.
“I think there’s a lot you’re not saying,” Sarah commented as she walked back to the couch. Dressed in an oversized cardigan and loose pants, Sarah looked comfortable for a slow night in the house.
It was a Tuesday evening and Sarah was available for girl time. Alex had a late night at the hospital. Since she and Alex got together, alone time with Sarah became rare.
Charlie wasn’t feeling like having Alex around. He was a reminder of Rick. The brothers didn’t look too alike, but the blood ran so thick she could smell the likeness.
Her friend was still waiting for an answer, and Charlie was too exhausted to think of excuses to cover up her feelings. Maybe it was time to look for a therapist.
Sighing, Charlie buried herself deeper into the giant couch, hugging a fluffy pillow. “I am a little blue.”
“That’s more like it. Why are you blue?”
Still hesitating, Charlie nibbled her lower lip before admitting, “It’s Rick.”
Sarah’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. “Oh, my god. I knew it. There’s something going on between you two. It’s so obvious. The way you two look at each other, it’s like everyone should leave the room.”
Charlie would have blushed if it hadn’t been for the heaviness in her chest. She and Rick had a strong connection, but the currents left her burnt.
“It’s not like that,” Charlie said sadly. “Well, not anymore.”
Sarah heard the tone, and her excitement disappeared. “What happened?”
Charlie accepted her friend's support and told Sarah what had happened since the dramatic day of running away from her wedding. About the times spent getting to know each other. About her growing feelings for him, and how he’d ultimately shot her down.
At the end, when the moisture in her mouth dried between speaking and tearing up, Charlie breathed in tired breaths.
