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Five painfully slow days had passed since I’d regainedthatmemory.
If I thought my nights were sleepless before, now they were even worse. My eyes were puffy and swollen and red, and my head ached from the ferocity of my crying. Food tasted like ash on my tongue, lumped into an unpalatable ball that was even harder to swallow down. I rarely left the confines of my room, and I was lucky to make it out of bed some days. I had been reverted back into the lifeless soul that I was when I first arrived here.
And it was all because of him.
Von had been so wrapped up in his vendetta against Aurelius that he took away my ability to create—the very core of mydivinity. He’dstolenit from me. Worse, he’d stolen it from us—me and Aurelius, who I seemed to have loved very deeply during that time.
It felt like I was looking at two entirely different versions of Von—the one I knew in this life and the one from my past, the contrast between the two as stark as black and white. Physically, he looked the same, his characteristics were the same.
But how he treated me . . .
Realms apart.
He’d vowed to takeeverythingfrom Aurelius. I glanced down at the vine tattoo on my arm . . .Everything, the same thing I had once promised him when we were kissing. I thumbed my bottom lip as I paced across my chamber’s stone floors—what if Von had never given up on that pledge? What if he was just faking an interest in me, using me to get to Aurelius? Just as he had done in my past life.
My heart felt like shattered glass, the pieces too jagged and broken to pick up. But still, I wanted to try. Because the laughing Von who walked with me in the woods with the basket leisurely thrown over his shoulder—I couldn’t imagine a world without him.
I refused to believe that that version of him wasn’t real. If the Von I knew in this life didn’t exist, how could I?
A light knock sounded at the door.
Shucking my thoughts to the side, I trudged over to the door and opened it.
I never knew how much self-control I had until that moment, as I came face to face with Soren, my gaze unable to meet his. Glancing past his shoulder, I felt an ounce of relief seeing that Ryker wasn’t on duty—I couldn’t imagine what he might do if he were standing behind Soren right now. He’d probably do the very thing I wanted to do—slay the traitor right where he stood.
But I fought that part of me, stepped back, and allowed him inside.
We didn’t greet one another—we didn’t so much as look at one another.
His betrayal was like a blade, severing the friendship we used to have. And now, all that was left was two strangers, at best. Enemies, at worst.
True to his word, Arkyn joined us.
“You sure about this?” he asked as he walked in.
“I am,” I said.
And truly, I was. Yes, that last memory was horrible, but sitting here in no-man’s land and not knowing the rest of the story was even worse.
I was tired of not knowing.
Arkyn nodded in reply before he seated himself at the small table, his honey orbs watching us, observing. He was wearing his usual attire, steeped in wealth and luxury. I noted that Soren’s clothing also looked like his status had been kicked up a few notches—apparently, someone was making a name for themselves, serving the enemy.How noble.
I laid down on the bed, as that seemed like something someone should do if they were about to have their memories rummaged through. I stared up at the ceiling, replaying the memory I had of Von when he stole my ability to create, showing it to the shadow mouse that lived inside my mind.
When the memory was finished, I said coldly, “Show me the next one I have with the God of Death.”
“Alright.” Soren’s voice cracked, breaking the word in half, just like he’d done with the trust I had once placed in him.
I’m sorry, Sage, his shadow mouse said.
“You don’t get to apologize,” I said out loud, refusing to carry on a conversation with him inside my head. I closed my eyes andtook a breath. “Just show me the memory I requested.” I didn’t bother to hide the ice in my tone.
“Alright,” he choked out softly. He scampered back to his hole as an oncoming storm approached—a storm ripe with lost memories.
I took a deep breath—I had a feeling this was going to hurt like a bitch.
The howling wind outside was no match for the piercing cry that ripped out of me—loud enough to bring mortal kingdoms to their knees.
