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He smirks at me and cuts another piece of the cake, and then holds the fork to my lips. “This one really is the best, though. C’mon, taste it.”
I roll my eyes playfully and allow him to place the cake in my mouth. I hate to admit it, but he’s right; the delicate flavor explodes on my tongue. My joy is cut short by a pang of heartache as I remember the last time I had a similar experience with food.
Elliot must sense the change in my demeanor because he sets down the fork with a furrowed brow. “You okay? We don’t have to get this flavor.”
I shake my head vigorously. “No, no, it’s not that.” As soon as I said the words, I wish I had lied instead; cake flavor is such an easy out.
As expected, the next words out of his mouth are, “What’s wrong, then?”
I look up at him and the familiar feeling of guilt spreads through me. Though things have been much better between Elliot and me, whenever I’m even slightly off I can sense the insecurity in him. Insecurity caused by me and my silly outside endeavors. “Nothing, I promise. I was just thinking, it’s amazing how flavorful the cakes are. Wish we had more food like this around here.” Not exactly a lie, but also not the truth. Decadent sweets like this are mostly frowned upon by the Elderhood for normal consumption, and therefore made to only be served for special occasions.
He shrugs. “I think having this type of food sparingly is what makes it worthwhile. We understand moderation.”
“As opposed to who?” I pinch off the corner of the cake and stick it in my mouth.
He shrugs again. “I dunno. The outsiders. Dark Elders. All that stuff.”
I pause at the mention of Dark Elders. Despite moving on from what happened, reminders of my experience aren’t exactly welcome. This conversation also makes me realize that no matter how close I become to Elliot, I can’t tell him about Arman. It’s a truth of most citizens; we are conditioned to sneer at anything remotely different from us, and especially regarding Dark Elders. The only thing we are loyal to over our True Partner is the Society.
I place my hand over his, a gentle smile on my face. There’s no reason to ruminate on the past. “Let’s do the lavender.”
Chapter 15
Aweek later, I am smelling a rose I had plucked from a nearby bush as I walk through the Top Elder’s garden. Olivia has come with me to help create the floor plan for the ceremony.
She hurries past me as we make it near the center of the garden, and then spins to face me with faux enthusiasm, arms outstretched in front of a large statue depicting the Top Elder. “The altar should go here!”
I roll my eyes and push her by the shoulder once I catch up. “Be serious, Liv.”
“Fine, fine.” She grabs my hand and we walk in silence, both taking note of preferred spots. There aren’t many options, considering the amount of space we need to fit all the guestsinto, but the few that are available are all beautiful. Most notably, there is a wide area near the peony bushes with beautifully detailed fern sculptures. That one is definitely a contender.
As we make a circle and begin heading back toward the mansion, I glance up at the back balcony, the familiar twinge of heartbreak sneaking up. I try to swallow it down, but all that does is cause me to focus on it more. “What if we got married up there?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself.
“Hm?” She follows my gaze. At first she looks puzzled, but then realization hits her. “Wait…isn’t that where—"
“That’s not why,” I lie. At least, I think it’s a lie. I don’t know why I want to be bound in the spot I met Arman. Perhaps it’s because it adds a sense of poetic justice to our decayed connection, absolute finality where it all began. Or, perhaps it’s because of design preference and nothing more. I’m not interested in finding out the answer.
Olivia stares at me, but when I refuse to meet her gaze, she lets it go. She walks closer to the house, eyes squinted. “It’s a great spot, actually. Can you imagine cascading flowers hanging off the balcony and into the garden? Talk about event of the century.”
I grin. That exact image had entered my mind after I suggested the spot. “Great minds think alike. Now,” I pull her toward the exit, “I’m starving. Lunch at my place?” I’ve had enough of binding ceremony planning for one day.
“Oh my Elders, please. All this walking has built up an appetite.” She pats her stomach and allows me to pull her out of the backyard.
We quickly pass through security; there’s not much we could have taken from the garden, after all. Before we make it to Olivia’s car, I see the Top Elder walking back to his home, just arriving from an outing. I stop in my tracks and swallownervously, hoping beyond hope that he doesn’t turn our way. Suddenly, I’m wishing I had kept the amulet on. Even though I’m unsure what other magic he put on the amulet, it did protect me from the Top Elder’s prying.
Despite my best wishes, the Top Elder looks toward Olivia and me. When he notices us, he heads our way with a pleasant smile. “Ladies, so good to see you. Amelia,” his eyes turn on me, “I hope you have found a perfect spot for the ceremony.”
I swallow, wanting to divert my gaze. Even if he doesn’t know about my previous endeavors outside of the Society, I still feel like he’s seeing right through me every time he’s near. “Ah, yeah. I was thinking about having it up on the back balcony.”
His eyes go distant as he pictures the layout, and then he nods in approval. “A fine choice. I’m sure your father will love it.” He glances toward Olivia and then back to me, holding out his hand for me to shake. “A pleasure, as always.”
I give him a tight-lipped smile and shake his hand, eager to get away. “Pleasure, my Lord.” Thank the Elders that he hasn’t dragged this conversation out.
Before we have a chance to rush past him and into Olivia’s car, I feel his hand on my shoulder.
He looks at me with those cold, dead eyes, and I fight the urge to back away. “I’ve noticed that you’ve been picking up on training, too. I look forward to your allegiance, Amelia. You will make a great official.”
A shiver runs down my spine. His words are mostly innocent, but the implications aren’t lost on me.
