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There has always only been one choice.
I love my family. I love my friends. But I am not particularlycloseto any of them, with two exceptions. I don’t even think that’s really their fault, but rather mine. I’ve never feltrightwithin the borders of the Society, and now I finally understand why. I couldn’t grow close to any of them…because I was not meant to.
Melancholy overtakes me as I watch our loved ones, but anxiety is strangely absent. It’s as if finally accepting the reality of the situation has brought me peace. This is the last day all these people will be together with me. Once tonight ends, my whole life will change.
“Hey.”
I turn to see one of the exceptions sidle up next to me, understanding in her eyes. She knows, of course she does. She’s always known me better than I know myself.
Olivia reaches out a hand to me. “Let’s go get some fresh air.”
I look at her and let out a slow breath, the gratefulness I feel toward her overwhelming me, and take her hand. I let her lead me to my deck, which offers us a bit of privacy. It’s a bit cool tonight, but I barely feel a chill.
Once we’re seated at the outdoor couch, she sighs. “You’re leaving.”
I stare out at the forest beyond my backyard and silently nod.
She moves closer to me, pulling me into a side hug. “I figured. You don’t see the way you look when you talk about what’s beyond our borders, Amelia. This was always the only choice.” She chuckles to herself, tears in her eyes. “Granted, I may haveselfishly hoped you’d stick around for my sake, but I’m happy for you. You deserve this, whatever ‘this’ is.”
Tears begin to stream down my cheeks as I face her. “Why are you so supportive of all this? Once I’m gone, I don’t know what the Elders will do to the people close to me. I couldn’t bare if they hurt you, Liv.”
She looks down, tears finally spilling, and grabs my hands tightly in hers. “We’ll be fine. And I’m supportive because I understand what it feels like to live a lie.”
I try to catch her eye, not understanding what she means, but she refuses to meet my gaze. “What do you mean?” I ask.
She takes a few deep breaths and then finally looks back up at me, eyes raw. “I’ve been seeing someone. For a while, actually. Nothing will come of it, we both know that, but I can’t help but love her.”
I blink in surprise.Her. That’s what she means. The Elders have strict policies on True Partners, one being that they must be opposite sexes for the sake of procreation.
I suddenly feel sad that Olivia has been going through this alone, especially when she’s been such a rock for me. How did I never notice? “Liv, I wish you would’ve told me. I would’ve been here for you, you know that.”
She smiles shakily, her grip tightening. “I know, but I was ashamed. It’s…it’s Maria. Caleb’s wife.” Before I can say anything, words begin to fly out of her mouth. “We ended things once she got pregnant. Of course, we did, she needs to do what’s best for her family. Butfuck, Amelia, I’ve felt so bad. You know how much I love Caleb, but we just couldn’t deny what was there.” By the end she’s sobbing, and I realize how badly keeping this secret has been affecting her.
“Oh, Liv. I’m so sorry.” I pull her to me, wishing I could take her pain away.
We sit there for a while, taking comfort in one another’s arms. Once her tears begin to dry, she sits back. “That’s why I understand. So don’t feel bad, Amelia.” She smiles sadly. “You can’t help who you love.”
I smile back at her and pull her in for another hug. “I promise to come back one last time after I see Arman. To say goodbye.”
I need to say goodbye to my father, as well, even if I can’t actually reveal that that’s what I’m doing. Once I have officially left the Society, it pains me to think that my father will swiftly turn into my enemy. I can’t even stomach the thought, so I try to solely focus on the comfort of Olivia’s embrace.
After several more minutes, we stand to go back to the party. People are probably already looking for me, as much as I would’ve loved to stay outside.
When we turn to the back door, I notice with a hint of dread that we left it open a crack. I hurry to the door and peer into the kitchen, but there’s no one in sight. A sigh of relief escapes both Olivia and me as we head back to the party.
Chapter 18
When I arrive at the park, Arman is already there. Before I can ask, he says, “I’ve come every night, just in case.”
I smile sadly and slowly walk up to him, easily sliding into his arms when he opens them up to me. “I’ve made my decision,” I murmur against his chest, taking a deep breath.
He squeezes me once and then draws back a few centimeters to look me in the eye. “What did you decide?”
I hold his gaze, enjoying the gravitational pull they elicit toward me, before answering. “You. I realized there wasn’t much of a choice, after all.” I look down briefly. “But, Arman, what does this mean for my loved ones? For the prophecy?”
He shakes his head, looking down. “We’ll worry about that tomorrow. For now, let’s just focus on us.” He places a fingerunder my chin, stroking my jaw lightly with his thumb, before pulling me into a devastating kiss.
I realize, suddenly, that this is our first kiss. His lips are warm and confident against mine, and I easily melt into his embrace. Every fiber of my being is alight as he moves against me, deepening the kiss.
