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When I risk a look, his gaze is slightly more understanding, which means more to me than I anticipated. “I know you think that, Amelia. But I promise you, he is lying to you. And yes,you have committed a treasonous offense, but you are also in a unique position to clear your name by revealing Arman’s plans.”
I almost laugh. All of this, to get secrets about Arman. The funny part is we had been so busy learning each other again that the topic of war plans never came up. They can keep me in solitary confinement, torture me until I’m nothing but ravaged meat, and they will still get nothing from me. I know nothing, but they don’t know this.
This gives me a boost of energy; I know an advantage when I see one. As much as I want to wallow in my circumstances, that’s not an option. I knew this could happen, and I knew what I was getting myself into. I need to let go of my emotions, at least for the time being. Right now, I need to think of survival.
This changes something in me. I feel all the tumultuous emotions inside me dry up as I feign despair, biting my lip nervously and hoping my father doesn’t see through me. “I can’t. He’s…I can’t do that to him.”
My father sighs in exasperation and stands abruptly. “Dammit, Amelia! I’m trying to help you here.” He takes a few calming breaths, thumb and forefinger massaging his temples. He sits back down, calmer. “I can’t protect our family if you turn on us, Amelia. I can’t protect Olivia.” He opens his mouth but closes it when no words come. He tries again. “The Elders will question everyone within an inch of their lives, and they will have good reason to. We are one family, while they have a whole community to protect.” He glances down at his hands, and I swear I see his eyes moisten. “I won’t be able to protect you, either. This is the only way.”
My father, the ever-loyal servant to the Elderhood. Even with his family in danger, he defends them. Deep down I know he’s hurting too, that this is not easy for him, but I can’t focus on that right now. Hearing his devotion,seeingit, makes my pain turnto anger. I’m his child, for Elders’ sake. “I have nothing to say,father,” I grit out, eyes hard.
He holds my gaze for a moment longer and I think he’s going to respond, but then he stands with a dejected sigh. “Get some rest. We will talk more later.” He doesn’t look at me again as he heads for the door.
I do nothing but stare at the now-empty chair, the sting of betrayal filling my heart. The feeling persists until my weakened body gives into a fitful sleep.
~ ~·~ ~
I’m sitting on the beach, arms around my knees as I stare out at the calm waves, salty air filling my lungs.
A rustle catches my attention and I look up to see Arman taking a seat beside me. He looks troubled, a small crease between his brows.
I rub my hand over his shoulder and arm in an attempt to comfort him. Why is he so distraught?
He turns to me and grabs my hand, rubbing his thumb along my knuckles.
“Listen to me, Amelia. We don’t have long. I am forming a plan to get you out of Jedaya’s home, but I need your help.”
I look at him in confusion. What is he talking about? We’re enjoying a nice day by the ocean. What could possibly be troubling him?
Then, I remember. Spending the night in Arman’s embrace. Walking back to the Society with plans of goodbyes. Being caught by the Elders. Being locked in the Top Elder’s – Jedaya’s? – home. It sends a chill down my spine.
“There is power in a name.”
I startle at Arman’s admission. “Then why tell me yours?”
A slow smile forms on his lips, eyes distant. “You have power over me, name or not. Now, listen to me, Amelia. You need totry and gain their trust, at least enough to be let out of the room they have you locked in. You will need to be able to move at least somewhat freely for this plan to work.”
He explains to me the elaborate lie he has constructed, the false plans I will feed to my father to gain their trust. I know that I must follow it, but I can’t help the distinct feeling that I’m betraying my family and friends with each lie. I need to remind myself that in the end, this will save them, too. I realize that Arman is still talking and I shake myself out of my reverie, homing in on his words.
“…Now, the most important part. Normally I can get through the Society barriers every now and again without much effort, but they have doubled down on the protection field. It will take some time for us to break it down enough to at least let me through, but you can help on this side. You just need to focus on the field, imagine it cracking. That’s all.”
I nod and swallow, still dwelling on my family. “And when I do, you’ll help my family, too? Now that everyone knows, there’s no point in hiding anything.” I bite my lip anxiously, looking imploringly toward Arman. “I know your focus is me, but we have to help them, too.”
He holds my gaze, conflicted. Then, he says, “I will do everything in my power to get your family out, Amelia. To get Olivia. But, please, understand that if it’s them or you, I will choose you.”
I search his eyes, wanting to beg him to help them first, but I know it’s of no use. His loyalties lie with me. I nod, accepting that he will at least try.
He leans over to place a kiss on my forehead. “Now, it’s time to wake up, my love. Good luck.”
“Good lu—"
~ ~·~ ~
I awaken with a start, but the dream is still clear in my mind. Arman is finding a way to save me, and hopefully my family and Olivia, but I need to play my part, too. I close my eyes and picture the protection field cracking.
I can do this.
For my family’s sake. For Olivia’s sake.
