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We’ve reached the fourth floor, and he pauses, turning his body towards me as he blocks the exit. “How a woman like you ended up with such a self-deprecating attitude, I’ll never understand.”
His bold accusation nearly knocks the wind out of me, and I shrug in response, fiddling with the plastic lid of my coffee cup. That’s the funny thing about abuse – it isn’t just an episode or two of physical pain. Once those cuts heal, you’re still left with little shards of emotional scars. You can try like hell to hide them, move two states away to start a new job, make new friends and a new life, but they’re never gone. I think anyone who hasbeen in my position asks themselves the same question—when will this feeling go away?
“Lainey,” he tilts my chin up, so I’m forced to look at his face, “even if I didn’t like you, even if you didn’t have a mouth-watering ass or lips that are begging to be kissed by me … I’d still think highly of you. Look at what you do for others. Think about that girl from last night and how invested in her you were, that takesguts. That’s how you treat everyone. No matter how shitty of a day you’re having, you’re in every room giving each patient equal attention. Hell, you spend most of your time in the rooms, even if you’re just visiting with patients. It’s more important for you to do a crossword puzzle with someone alone and lonely than to take ten minutes to yourself.”
With one hand clenching my cup, I raise the other to his chest. His words are a buoy, pulling me in when all I’ve been doing is drowning.
“Don’t think any of that goes unnoticed,” he continues. “Maybe it’s because you’re going to school and have goals bigger than this place, but you think further into everything than you need to for your job. You seem to know what questions will be asked and always have an answer ready.I admire you.”
His head lowers, breath soft against my hair, mouth hovering above my ear, sending a stream of goosebumps down my spine. “You’re not average, Lainey. See yourself through my eyes. I wouldn’t encourage just anyone. It’s not because of whatever is going on between us. I am how I am because I believe in you.”
His full lips linger above mine, noses grazing, and my last string of self-control breaks. Sliding my hand further up his chest, I tuck my fingers into the V-neck of his scrub top and tug him down to me, smashing his lips against mine. A sharp inhale through his nose as he guides me to the wall, pressing his masculine frame against my body, his hand coming up to cradle my jaw.
Our first kiss was a crashing of hormones, a frantic, teenage make-out session after a few drinks. Our second was short, chaste, stolen behind closed doors at work, almost feeling forbidden. But this one, this is achingly tender. A kiss that could heal. A kiss that I needed the most, and so far, it’s my favorite one. His hand slides down to gently grip my neck, tilting my chin to meet him as he plants a series of soft presses against my lips.
I know our time in the hall is limited. The door could swing open at any moment, exposing us to whomever, but I want nothing more than to live and die here at this moment, safe from the world, from sorrow, from everything that flooded my mind a few short minutes ago.
He pulls back, resting his forehead against mine.
“I’m better now,” I tease.
He breathes out a puff of laughter and kisses me once more before fully pulling away. “That’s all I wanted.” He smooths a lock of hair away from my face that fell out of my ponytail, gives a little smile, and opens the door, ushering me ahead of him.
I squeeze past, turning left down the hall back towards my unit as he continues straight towards the doctor’s lounge. A quick wink before he turns around the corner and is out of sight.
A few more feet and the nurses’ station and whiteboard come into view. I grab a Post-it and jot down my room numbers and patient names, noticing I’m starting with an extra patient.
“Before you bark at me,” Meg starts, “we’re starting with a full house and shy one nurse. I’ve assigned you an extra patient, but you won’t get any admits today. Plus, the extra one is our ol’ gal.”
My eyes quickly scroll the whiteboard for patient names, pausing when I see Elda listed.
“She’s still here?” She was in Intensive Care recovering from the surgery yesterday after some extensive blood issues. Last I heard, she was stable and expected to be discharged home from there.
Meg nods. “She took a little longer to recover from the low blood pressure and had some arrhythmia issues. She was transferred up here late last night but is potentially discharging today. I assumed you’d want her back.”
“Of course, thank you!”
Meg playfully rolls her eyes before turning away. “Only you would thank me for giving you an extra patient.”
I make Elda’s room my first stop of the day, and it doesn’t surprise me to find her out of bed, already in the closet packing her belongings.
As I enter, I rap my knuckles on the door. “You know Elda, I love you and was hoping to see you again, but you didn’t have to make excuses to stay here to keep visiting with me.”
She laughs. “Oh, sweetheart, come here and give me a hug.” I gladly hop over to her and squeeze her as much as her tiny body can handle.
“Tell me how you’re feeling. Any pain? Numbness? How’s your breathing?” I lead her to the side of the bed to sit so I can complete my assessment.
“Feeling like my old self again. Arvid will be here in an hour to see me.”
“Good. I’m looking forward to seeing the man who stole your heart. Dr. Ryan will be around soon. The plan is to discharge you as soon as we can, but we have to make sure the boss says okay. Hopefully, we can get you home by lunchtime.”
“Yes!” she exclaims, clapping her hands together. “This is the longest Arvid and I have been away from each other in our seventy years. He better have a big ol’ kiss waiting for me.”
“I’m sure he will. Just keep it rated PG,” I say, smirking as I turn to the computer.
“That reminds me, honey. I have one more favor to ask of you before I go home.”
“Yes, anything.”
