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I break out in a smile, forgetting the entire reason this conversation happened. Her voice is stronger, the tears seem tohave dried up, and I internally beat my chest like an ape for making her feel better.
“Text me when you are home safe?”
“Of course. Goodnight, Ryan.”
“Night, Lainey.”
Chapter Eighteen
Lainey
Fatigue seeps through every inch of my skin, soaking through to my core and making its home deep in the marrow of my bones.
I’m exhausted.
Is there a word that’s stronger than exhausted?
Each step I take down the empty corridor to the coffee shop winds me. My legs ache, feet filled with bags of sand. The thirteen-hour day shift, plus my on-call hours and the time spent crying in the parking lot over that little girl wrecked me. If it weren’t for Ryan and his call, who knows how long I would have thrown that pity party.
It’s amazing how he always seems to be there when I need that extra boost—whether it’s a much-needed laugh, some encouragement at work, or added insight for a patient, he’s always there. He doesn’t feed me fake, happy lines. He doesn’t bullshit me and tell me everything will be okay. When it’s hard, he acknowledges it’s hard, but that even though it’s hard, it isn’t grounds to give up. And somehow, that’s exactly what I need to hear.
An exaggerated yawn escapes me as I hear the door slam on the ground floor and footsteps echoing off the walls.
I roll my eyes. There is a reason I took the stairwell furthest from the unit – this stairwell is miles from the elevator banks. The majority of the staff have no reason to use this hall, and visitors tend to not know it exists.
My plan to avoid any unnecessary human contact is dashed.
I glance over the railing and the sleeping butterflies in my belly wake and stretch their wings when I see that familiar head of shaggy hair coming my way. The start of a smile lands on my face as my blood carbonates, the fizzing increasing the closer he gets. It isn’t long before I’m face to face with my favorite pair of chocolate brown eyes.
You’d think by now I’d be used to running into him, and that the sight of him in basic black scrubs wouldn’t make my heart flutter, but it never fails. I take the last few steps until we are level with one another, toe to toe and I allow myself to stare into his handsome face. I take in the stubble peppering his jaw, the dampness of his hair from the morning shower, and the scent of his shampoo. Everything about him surrounds me, balm to my frayed nerves.
“Good morning,” I offer, feeling shy after my emotional breakdown last night.
His beautiful face beams down at me. “Good morning. I was on my way to find you.” It’s then I realize he has a cup of coffee in each hand and he’s reaching out to offer me one. With how emotionally hungover I am, the coffee might as well have been a marriage proposal.
“For me?” I ask, still surprised he’s this thoughtful.
“No, for the girl standing next to you,” he says sarcastically. “Yes, for you.”
I take the cup from his hand, our fingers grazing.
“Thank you. This is incredibly thoughtful.”
“It’s nothing,” he says as he moves closer. He brings his free arm up and wraps it around my shoulders, pulling me to him. I bury my face in his chest, soaking in his warmth and comfort and letting his hug pull enough anxiety out of me so I can finally breathe. I wrap my arm around him, relishing the feeling of being held, his hug energizing me more than any amount of coffee ever could.
He plants a soft kiss on the top of my hair before letting his arm fall and stepping back. “You okay?”
“I’m better now,” I answer honestly.
We take the next two floors in silence, alternating slow sips of coffee with stolen glances at each other. “Someone has finally seen the light,” I tease, referencing his coffee that isn’t the shit we serve to patients.
“A wise woman once pointed out that if the old ways aren’t working, it might be worth changing.”
“She does sound very wise.”
“I think I’ll keep her around and see what else I can learn from her.”
“Where to find the best coffee inside a hospital is probably the first and last thing I’ll ever get to teach you. Anything else, I’m willing to bet you would run circles around me.”
