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“Slater.I told him.He said I couldn’t sleep in the tent anymore, because he was afraid I might want to jump him.”Beckett’s voice went up in pitch, like he was saying something ludicrous that he couldn’t believe.
“Jump him?”I asked, confused.“Who would want to jump Slater?He’s an asshole.”
Beckett laughed softly.“Well, he thinks I’m in love with him now.”
“We can talk to him, if you like,” Jay said, then looked at Beckett.“If it’s okay, I’ll share what you said about your sexuality with Aiden, so he can help?”
Beckett blushed and glanced toward me, stuffing his hands in his pockets.“It’s fine.I told Jay I’m gay.”
“Oh, cool.”I couldn’t keep a hint of jealousy out of my voice.I was supposed to be the cool counselor that everyone told deep shit to.Jay poked me in the arm, laughing.
“Look, Aiden is mad that you told me and not him.”
“Hey, I’m cool with gay people.I was kissing one five minutes ago.”I leaned over and kissed Jay on the forehead to make my point.
“I know you’re bi,” Beckett said, rolling his eyes.“I just wanted a gay guy’s advice.”
I sighed dramatically.“I suppose I can respect that.But if any of the other guys want to come out as bi or pan, they’d damn well better come to me.”
Jay shot me a look.“This is not about you, jackass.Beckett is stuck in a tent with a homophobic prick.”He grimaced.“I feel like a jerk saying that about a 13-year-old, but shouldn’t he know better?”
“I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in that tent,” Beckett whispered, looking a little embarrassed.“I don’t know why I thought I could tell him.”
“It’s cool.You should be able to share things about yourself with your friends without worrying that they’ll do shit like that,” Jay said.“I’m not sure what we can do for tonight, but we can try to re-organize the tents tomorrow.”
“If we can find somebody willing to tolerate Slater,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.
Beckett snickered.“Good luck.”
“Who would you most like to share a tent with tomorrow?Is there someone you’d be comfortable with?”Jay asked.
“I think Octavius and Devon would be pretty nice to me, don’t you?”The bright red blush on Beckett’s cheeks was unmistakable.
“The poop kid?You have a crush on the poop kid?”Jay groaned.Both of us turned to look at him, and I slapped a hand over his mouth.
“Dude, we’re in a tent, not a building.He could hear us through this.”I gestured to the fabric walls.“We don’t want his crush to be public knowledge!”
“Whoops sorry,” Jay said, ducking his chin, a smile twitching across his lips.
“What do I do?”Beckett asked.
I chewed on my bottom lip for a moment, looking at Jay, who sighed, looking resigned.“You’ll have to spend the night with us,” I said.“I wouldn’t want to make you sleep with a guy who is bullying you.We’ll find a way for you to bunk with some of the other kids tomorrow night.”
Beckett’s grin was huge.“OK!Great.Let me go get my stuff.”
“Fuck,” Jay whispered, widening his eyes at me.Fuck was right.Or, not fuck, as it were.
It was a tight fit in the little three-person tent, with me and Jay facing one way, and Beckett sleeping upside down between us.His feet were between our faces, so I couldn’t even make intense eye contact with Jay.I hated it.
Once Beckett fell asleep, I reached out and grabbed Jay’s hand, needing to touch him somehow.I had become accustomed to snuggling with him at night, and the hand wasn’t enough, though he threaded his fingers through mine and gave my hand a squeeze.The three-person backpacking tent was small, and none of us slept very well, but it was worth it to make a kid feel safe.
Waiting for Jay was worth it, too.
seventeen
Jay
“Iwanttogopublic with it,” I said.“With our relationship.”We were at the little lake near our campsite with the kids the next day, watching them while they played in the water, and the words kind of spilled out of me.
