AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I stared at my phone. That wasn’t what was going on, was it?
Me:I’m still straight. I only like one girl.
Lora: Straight girls don’t have crushes on other girls, hon. Sorry.
She did have a point there. But honestly, I wasn’t too concerned about how I identified. I just needed to make the awkwardness stop.
Ivy: The other option is that maybe you just can’t handle rejection.
Hmm… she also had a point. The only thing I could compare this to was getting dumped by Alec.
I tilted back my seat to get comfortable.
Me: What if that’s true? How do I learn to deal with rejection?
Deanne: It’s like I’ve always said—the best way to get over one guy is to get under another one.
A random hook-up was the last thing I needed! Besides, it was against my vow. And if I was being honest, I hadn’t really looked at a guy since I’d realized I was into Tara. Ever since I’d decided to experiment, I’d been all Tara, all the time—and my interest was only getting deeper.
Ivy: If not a guy, then why not try another girl?
I’m just not feeling it,I wrote.
Lora: Maybe you’d start feeling it once things got going.
I knew where she was coming from, but I just couldn’t see it happening that way. With a sigh, I stretched my feet as far as they could go.
Me: I’m not sure.Maybe I do need to think some more about whether I’m bi.
Ivy: We can help you with that! Why don’t we all go to a gay bar sometime?
Deanne: That sounds fun! I’d love to just be able to dance without getting hit on.
Lora: We could do this weekend, if you guys aren’t busy for Thanksgiving.
Me: Slow down! I haven’t agreed to this yet.
Deanne: No, seriously, I like the idea. The three of us are going, with or without you.
I had to laugh.
Me: Okay, fine. I’m free on Saturday night.
The others replied one by one.Me too
So it was set. We were going. I wasn’t going to hit on any girls… but I was questioning my sexuality. And phrasing it that way was oddly liberating.
On Saturday night, I had a hard time getting ready. I skimmed through my collection of short, tight party dresses, unsure of whether lesbians wore stuff like that. I didn’t need to attract any girls, but I did want to fit in.
“Fuck it,” I muttered to myself, grabbing a little blue number with a deep V-neck. I needed to be myself. At the very least, I’d feel sexy.
We’d decided to go to Vino and Veritas. The wine bar was having a dance party that night, and since there were no proper gay bars in town, this was our best bet without driving an hour away.
I met up with my friends at Ivy’s place to predrink, and then she DDed us to the bar. My friends were hopping with excitement. We were doing something outside our usual routine, for once, and we were all curious what the night would bring.
I could hear the music thumping through the walls. It sounded like a mix of hip-hop and top 40, which was right up my alley. I bounced to the beat as I stood in line, glancing at the people around me in their jackets and scarves. My hot pink parka stood out a little, although a short guy in glittery eyeshadow was wearing a similar color. It was impossible to tell if my dress would fit in once we got inside.
As soon as we got inside and checked our coats, we raced for the bar. I chatted with the bartender, Molly, until she realized she was ignoring the other customers. My friends got wine, since that was the specialty here. I ordered beer instead, curious to see what came out of all those heavy barrels.
