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When she did, I curled into her like a vine forming around a tree. I felt like right here, this was where I was supposed to be. This was where I belonged.
“My guitar teacher has been wondering where I am,” she said, running her fingers in lazy trails along my bare arm.
“Oh my gosh, you've missed your lessons.”
“It's not as official as that,” she said, laughing. “And Barbara can wait.”
“You told me she was seventy and didn't have many other people in her life.”
“That's true, but... she can wait.”
I sat halfway up, scandalized. “Are you serious? Is that poor lady dying of loneliness because you're skipping out on her?”
She shook her head at my theatrics. “She does have a son. An actual blood relation.”
That was true, but still. “I thought you didn’t think much of blood relations.”
“Good point. She hesitated as if considering whether she really was being cruel to Barbara. “I'll definitely make time for her soon. You’re right, chosen family is much more important than blood. Who you’re actually related to is just the luck of the draw.”
She had a point, although I’d never thought about it that way before. My family was fine—I loved them. While we had certain issues, they really weren’t that bad. But whatever family I’d been born into, assuming they weren’t completely awful, I would’ve loved them just as much, just because they were there.
I leaned on my elbow, examining her carefully. This might be a sensitive subject, but I’d been curious for a long time. “Do you ever wish you were in touch with your birth family?”
“Not really,” she said pensively. “I wish my mom had had more family. From what I remember of her, she was amazing.”
“And your dad?” I worried the question was too personal. Then again, she was my girlfriend.
“I don’t see why I would care about him.” Her eyes hardened. “He never did about me.”
I remembered what she’d told me—that he’d never been a part of her life. “What if you were wrong about him knowing about you? What if he’s a billionaire or something, and he’d be ready to adopt you if you just reached out?”
She laughed and shoved my bare shoulder. “Yeah, sure, that’s likely.”
“You know what I mean. He could be anybody.”
“You ever heard of Occam’s razor?”
“I think I saw them in the drugstore next to Gillette.”
“No.” Another playful shove. “It’s a psychology thing. It says that if there are two possible reasons for something, the simpler explanation is most likely to be the truth.” She pointed to herself. “In my case, my dad is an asshole.”
“Okay, that’s fair.” I could admit that was more likely than him being a billionaire. “What if you have extended family out there? Aunts, uncles, cousins. You could even have sisters or brothers.”
“And that’s nice.” She shrugged. “I have no desire to meet them.”
“It’d be easy to find them. You could just take a DNA test. It’s, like, eighty bucks. You just fill up the tube with spit and send it back to the company. I was thinking of getting one myself, just to find out my exact heritage. Some people find out they have Neanderthal DNA.”
She held up a hand to stop me. “I’ll take a pass. I don’t need them in my life.”
I couldn’t wrap my mind around the idea of truly not caring about family. “But what if they could help you out financially?”
“I wouldn’t accept any help.” Her voice was flat as she rolled slightly away, pulling the blanket over her arms. “They weren’t there for me when I needed them. If they weren’t there during my childhood and my adolescence, why would I want to know them now?”
“That’s fair. I’m sorry.” I had pushed her too far, and I snuggled up to her to make up for it. “I don’t mean to make you feel weird. I just can’t imagine not having my family.”
A flicker of pain crossed her face. “Well, I have Trevor and Nia and Kyle.”
And now she lived three hours away from them. She was more independent than I could imagine ever being. When I compared her and me, I was ashamed of still living at home. I could afford it, and I knew actually doing it would make me grow up in a hurry. Fear was holding me back. I just hadn’t realized it.
