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It didn’t work.
“I’ll take that,” I whispered as I extended my arms forward, pointing to Niel’s booster seat. “Thank you for bringing it.”
Nate let go of the seat and it seemed to bring him out of his thoughts. He immediately kneeled in front of Niel and extended his hand.
“Hi, I’m Nate.” He smiled and my eyes widened in shock. That was different.
Niel revealed his gummy smile, keeping one arm wrapped around my leg in a shy manner while he brought his other hand to meet Nate’s hand.
“I know you, your Uncle Brian’s friend,” he said excitedly, recognizing Nate from the many pictures Brian showed him and all the matches they played that he would rewatch during the off-season.
Nate grinned as he shook Niel’s hand. “Well, what’s your name?”
“Niel,” he giggled as he brought his hand to his mouth, an action he always did whenever he was shy or excited and it seemed he was going through both emotions at the same time.
“You’re such a handsome young kid,” Nate spoke softly as he looked up at me with his hand hovering over Niel’s head. I nodded and he gently ruffled his head and I was grateful that Niel looked like me and nothing like his father. He just had dark hair and that was it.
I don’t think I’m ready for confrontation, my heart couldn’t handle it.
As they interacted, it felt as if my heart was about to jump out of my throat and I was extremely nervous. My body felt itchy but I resisted the urge to scratch my arms.
“Do you want to play cars with me? Mommy is still making dinner and she can’t play,” Niel asked and my heart stilled.Who taught this kid to be so outspoken?
“Only if yourmommywould invite me in,” Nate responded with a grin, and the way he said mommy did not sound the way a child would. Or was that my imagination?
“Mommy, please let him play with me,” Niel begged as he looked up at me, tugging my dress again, and if he tugged once more I wouldn’t be surprised if a few buttons undid and I would flash Nate.It’s not as if he hasn’t seen me before.
However, my body had changed quite a lot since I had Niel. My boobs grew a lot bigger and they were slightly sagging, I didn’t have a problem with that. I thought they looked kind of good. My hips had also expanded and my thighs were a lot bigger; well but then again, it does come with age.
“Uhm, sure.” I motioned into the apartment and he got up from his crouched position, walking into my apartment as if he paid rent. Niel had long forgotten about his tablet as he dragged Nate into the living room to play cars.
Nate looked around my apartment, and if it hadn’t been for Niel pulling him onto the carpet, I had a feeling he would have gone through each and every room because he didn’t seem to have restraint, and I was judging from the time he inspected every inch of my office.
Nothing will happen,I reminded myself as I locked my apartment and went back to my pots.He’s just a guest and once Niel grows tired right after dinner, Nate will leave.
I took a deep breath in and continued stirring food in my pot, praying time would move faster because I couldn’t beat the guilt and the doubt. It all felt unsettling, sure Niel looked like me and Brian when he was younger, but if nothing happened between Nate and me during this time, would I ever be able to tell him that we had a kid together?
Niel’s giggles met my ears and pulled me out of the thoughts I was drowning in, I looked back into the living room and found him perched on Nate’s lap as he tickled him, arguing that it was punishment for bumping into his car.
They looked so happy together. My heart dropped to the pits of my stomach and I felt goosebumps grow throughout my entire body. I brought my hand to my mouth as I felt a lump grow in my throat while I watched them play together.
It was such a beautiful sight that I almost blurted out the truth, but the words got caught in my throat and an unrecognizable sound left my lips, and Nate looked up.
“Do you need help?” he asked as he pointed to the kitchen and I shook my head.
“I’m almost done, thank you. You aren’t allergic to anything are you?” I asked as I retrieved the plates and Niel’s own special blue plate that had his favorite car character on it.
“I’ll eat anything you make.” He smiled and I rolled my eyes as I turned my attention back to serving the food.
“Uncle Brian calls you a loafer,” Niel suddenly said and my head snapped back to them, surprised by his sudden truth.
“Niel!” I scolded and Nate roared out with laughter as he threw his head back. His shoulders shook violently as he laughed, covering his eyes. Was he not offended?
“It’s Uncle Brian,” Niel defended himself, giving me a simple shrug and just by that reaction, I knew he had been spending too much time with his uncle. He was still seated on Nate’s lap and he was playing with the collar of his golf shirt.
“He said you like women. Do you like my mom?”
“Well—“
