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“You’re going to Cade’s cabin?” Olivia asked.
“Yes.”
“I’ll go home with Olivia,” Martina said. She hugged me and whispered, “Are you sure?”
“One hundred percent.”
“Well, okay.” Olivia turned toward Holden. “Can you give us a ride?”
“Absolutely.”
What a relief not to have anyone question why I was going to Cade’s. But I guess Holden, Olivia, and Martina wouldn’t want it any other way. I’d been the one to break it off with Cade, determined to make all my dreams come true in California. They’d thought I’d lost my mind, calling me a stubborn, prideful idiot. It had taken me far too long to finally believe they’d been right.
On the drive to Cade’s, I felt myself weakening and letting the recent events I’d endured overtake me. I’d tried to convince myself nothing horrific had happened. Jake had drugged me, so I didn’t remember the details, but I’d felt them and saw the marks on my body. He’d told me I deserved what I’d gotten. But no woman should ever be blamed for a man raping her.
The pitch-black night enveloped me. Nothing could be seen beyond the headlights, and to some, like city dwellers, it might appear eerie, but not to me. I was home and safe with Cade.
Plus, two bikers were behind us. Apparently, we had bodyguards.
Country music played on the radio. The warmth from the heater soothed my tense limbs. Cade tapped his thumb on the steering wheel, a sign he was worked up and nervous. I was sure he was processing and wondering what might happen in his cabin. We hadn’t been alone, truly alone together in almost twelve years. And when we had been a couple, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
Please, God. I need Cade to want me. I need to be irresistible…
In my next breath, I welcomed the darkness and inhaled it into my soul, praying for it to consume the evil that had been done to me. Jake had defiled me and stole what he wanted and threatened those I loved to keep me in check.
Such wickedness could only be cut to pieces by a scythe, the kind my granddad had used when I was a little girl. He would swing the massive blade, to-and-fro, to cut wheat. He’d tell me the old ways were the best ways, and nothing could level a field better.
Of course, modern farmers wouldn’t agree, but I’d do anything to have a scythe in my hands to slay the nightmarish memories that would plague me like a deadly cancer. I supposed that was what I was trying to do with the cutter. I’d thought all hope had been lost and wanted to die, make it stop, and save myself from a lifetime of assault and misery.
Although, my attempt hadn’t been planned or intentional. I’d been trapped in my fucking reflections. Then Martina’s horrified voice yanked me back to reality and the abject mortification on her face seared into my retinas as I bled out with a blade in my hand. Seconds later, armed masked men rescued me, and Cade was behind it.
I looked sidelong at his handsome profile. He’d changed from a hot, good ol’ boy into a panty melting, tattooed, something told medangerousrancher. The hairs on my arms prickled like a porcupine and butterflies flapped their wings as I eyed the ink on the tops of his hands. He had them on his arms, too. I wondered where else…
“It’s not safe to stare at me like that, Honeybee.” His smooth as whiskey voice licked down my spine. He didn’t look at me, which made me want him all the more. He knew exactly what hedid to me. Even after what I’d been through with Jake, I needed Cade.
But I couldn’t imagine he’d want me once he knew what Jake had done.
“Why’ve you been quiet? I can tell you’re nervous. Do I scare you?” I kept my voice light so Cade wouldn’t catch on that it was me who was scared.
“Hell yeah, you scare me. Always have.” His expression remained tense and his knuckles turned white as they tightened around the steering wheel.
Was he actually scared? Impossible. Cade had always been fearless. Fearless riding wild broncs and fighting fires. Fearless letting me go.
“I don’t know if I should feel bad or be honored to have such power over you.” I didn’t want to get into a serious talk in his truck. Wrong place, wrong time, and all that. But I felt myself nearing the edge of pouring my heart out and telling him everything.
He smirked at my words. “Baby, you’ve always had all the power, and you damn well know it.”
Those darn butterflies went crazy in my stomach. My hands shook in my lap. He believed I was the girl he had loved all those years ago. In many ways, I was, until last week.
“Except, I abused that power. I destroyed us, Cade, and you let me.” Regret crashed through me for breaking his heart. I was such a bitch.
He didn’t reply as he pulled onto his property.
“I’ve changed my mind. Just take me home, please.” My mouth would make matters worse. I’d word vomit, spill my guts, and then Cade would pity me. He’d look at me differently, and my heart couldn’t take it.
If I could have some private time to process the events of the week, I’d be okay. Jake would not destroy my life… and myfuture. More than ever, I wanted a second chance with Cade. God help me, Jake wouldn’t ruin my chances.
Again, Cade ignored me and parked in front of his cabin. Damn stubborn man. A couple of motorcycles were by the barn, and the person behind us parked on Cade’s side.
