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“My fears.”
“What do you fear, Colin?”
“Losing you.”
Her hand stilled. She glanced at him as if weighing his sincerity.
He was being completely genuine. In ten years he had been unwavering about his purpose in this life, yet since meeting Samantha, he began wondering if there was a path that led to a more rewarding life. A life by her side.
He wanted her, but he’d always heard that love fades. He loved God and the church. His vocation was like a burning in his bones, but now a new burn had started to grow and he wasn’t sure what to do anymore. The reality was that he’d never be brave enough to throw it all away on a whim. It would make a mockery of all his hard work and sacrifice thus far and if he made a mistake, it would be Samantha who would take the brunt of the consequence.
“You’ll be an incredible wife someday to a very lucky man, Sammy. Perhaps you’ll ask me to perform the ceremony.”
Coldness settled in her eyes and he wondered if he said too much. He was only trying to ground them both with a dose of reality, but she clearly didn’t appreciate it.
“Don’t try to push me away with passive aggressive comments, Colin. If you want me to go, I’ll go, but at least have the courage to ask for what you want.”
She was right. It was a cheap shot intended to cut, but again, he wounded her in the process. He was about to say sorry, but didn’t want her to misinterpret it as goodbye. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have made such a comment. It was insensitive and I was only being spiteful at myself, but unintentionally hurt you. I’ll try not to do that anymore.”
“Well, after all that now I feel badly. Just be honest with me. Don’t patronize me or try to pretend this is leading to a place that it’s not. I understand what the reality is. I’m a big girl. But you need to be honest with me or things will only get more confusing than they already are.”
“You’re right.”
She settled back down by his side and he held her close. They continued to talk for several more hours about everything from how they spent most of their days as children, to what their kindergarten teachers’ names were, to whom they took to the prom. With every word Colin recognized they were only making the inevitable harder on themselves, but neither one of them seemed to care.
By four a.m. the others had all come home and they laughed as they heard them stumbling down the hall. Sammy had grown sleepy and was only speaking in one word answers that didn’t always match the questions he asked.
He needed to say goodnight, but he hated the idea of letting her go. When she didn’t answer his last question or reply, he softly whispered her name. Carefully, he sat up and lifted her into his arms. She grumbled and cuddled closer to his chest.
He carried her through the bathroom and into his brother’s room, holding her in one arm and pulled the covers back, careful not to jostle her too much. When he laid her down he saw that she was once again awake.
“Will you hide from me now?”
“No. I’m through hiding.”
She shut her eyes and smiled. “Love you, Colin McCullough.”
He fought so hard to not say the words back. Pressing his lips tight, he kissed his fingertips and touched them to her forehead. Her breathing settled and she had once again drifted off.
“Love you too, Sammy.”
CHAPTER11
When Sam awoke on Saturday half the house was empty. Frank and the majority of his children and his nephews had gone on a fishing trip. With all that they had discussed the night before, Samantha wasn’t sure what Colin’s plans were. She didn’t have to wait long to find out.
As she sat on the bed tying her shoe there was a knock on the bathroom door. She stood and reached to open the door. Colin stood in the doorway holding her shampoo.
“Hey,” she greeted.
“Hey,” he said, leaning around the doorjamb as if he was looking for something. “I ran out of shampoo and was wondering if I could use some of—” Satisfied that they were alone, he tossed the shampoo onto the counter and tugged her against his chest then yanked the bathroom door closed. His lips found hers and her body thrilled at the way he kissed her. How cute was he making up stories about shampoo so he had an excuse to knock on her door?
“God, you taste good.” He said as he plopped her bottom onto the counter.
He leaned into her and her knees came up, clamping around his hips. Holy shit, he was kissing her like a mad man. Her body was already trembling, her sex moistening, and her breasts heavy and wanting to be touched. In a moment of pure blind courage she grabbed for his hand and slid it under the hem of her t-shirt.
His fingertips burned against the flesh of her belly and thankfully he didn’t break their kiss or pull away. However he also didn’t go to her breasts. His hand curled around her waist and squeezed her in a way that had her sex weeping. His mouth ripped from hers and began to kiss her neck.
When his mouth latched onto the lobe of her ear and he sucked, his breath tickling and sending shivers racing down her spine and across her nipples, she moaned. “Oh my God, Colin.”
