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“Thank you, ma'am.”
The waiting continues for another hour, and Maya and James return. James looks like I feel. I need her back. I need to hold her in my arms to feel her warmth. I remember her in her studio and walking around our home. I need her. She can't leave me, she is everything good in me, and I know I'll die if she dies. I feel like my life is in the eye of a storm, which will never be the same again if I'm not careful. Finally Dr. Parker walks in, and we all rise.
“Joshua, Duncan, Maya, and Mr. Preston, they are moving Anabel to the antenatal intensive care unit. Anabel is stable but unconscious from the anesthetic. Once it wears off, the hope is she will wake. She had several seizures until we got her sedated. I’m having a neurologist consult on her case, she is being given anti-seizure meds that won’t affect her breast milk. We are also monitoring her heart for any possible damage, so a cardiologist has been brought in as well. Joshua, it was close, I’m glad you were still in town. As for your daughter, she is in the neonatal intensive care unit because her lungs are a little delayed. She'll be there for a while. I have a doctor I know keeping a close eye on her. He will have an update for you after he monitors her for a little bit. Both are better now that we delivered the baby. It was touch and go a couple times, but I kept my promise, they're both alive.” She looks around the group of us, and lingers on Ian a bit longer. “After all this is settled we can talk. I wasn't trying to deceive any of you. I always knew there would be a chance I would run into you again, but I never thought I would see you again, especially here. I am sorry, and I need to explain. Ian, we need to talk, soon. It's very important. I’ve been trying to reach you for a while now.”
“Jennifer, we have nothing to say to each other. You said plenty when you served me with divorce papers while I was in Afghanistan. I was told you were afraid of me. So now we are just fine, go on with your life.”
“No, Ian, things have changed, and I really do need to explain and talk to you. I told you my father was controlling.”
“No, Jennifer, you’re obviously remarried, and I've moved on too. Done! Get Joshua's girls healthy and leave like you are so good at.”
She looks lost and about to cry. She turns and walks from the room with her head hung low. Jennifer was always the softness to Ian's hardness. When she left him, he became a shell of himself.
“That was a little harsh, Ian,” Maya says.
Duncan moves up behind her. If Ian starts to throw down, he has her back. Ian's never taken criticism about Jen well.
“Maya, do not say another word. You don't know anything about this situation,” Ian gruffly replies.
“I know what a woman who regrets and is lost looks like.” Maya stands up straighter.
“Enough, Maya, I'll knock you out too just like I did to him,” Ian threatens her as he points at me.
“Say that again, you bloody wanker, and I'll knock you out.” Duncan crosses his arms over his large chest. Timothy stands up next to Duncan, between the two of them they will protect Maya, although, I think she could take Ian if she had to. Derek and Greg rise and wait to see what happens next.
I just stand there, I need to see my girls with my own eyes. I’m not being the best example of a leader right now, my heart is behind those doors somewhere in this hospital.
“I know what a man looks and feels like when he has lost everything,” Derek says. “Ian, you're lost, man, but hurting Maya isn't going to make the pain go away. Believe me, I've tried kicking her ass, it doesn't make you feel better. Buddy, I'm sorry for your loss, but give her a chance to talk, you never know what a second chance feels like until it's taken away from you.” As usual, Derek calms the group, his pain and loss greater than most of ours.
I feel him now though, I never want to feel what I've felt in the last few hours. They all sit back down, and we begin the vigil again. I'm pacing the floor when a nurse walks in.
“Mr. Donovan and Mr. Preston, Dr. Parker asked me to take you both to Ms. Preston's room. Afterward, I will allow another two, but she only wants two people in her room at a time.” I practically run for the nurse. James looks at Duncan and nods. Duncan hugs Maya, pats his father on the back, and walks over to me.
She leads us down the hall to a secure area, and I see my girl behind the glass wall. When we enter the room I take it all in. She’s unconscious, lying there still and peaceful. Her abdomen is no longer rounded with our child but still has a slight bump, she looks so pale. Her blond hair lies across the pillow around her head like a halo. Her lips are pale and her face has bruises under her eyes. I see all the monitors and leads coming from her chest, the IV and another bag of fluids going into her.
I walk to her and take her hand in mine. Leaning over her, I whisper in her ear. “I love you, Angel, come back to me. Please open your beautiful eyes. I need you.” She doesn't respond, she just lies there.
I want her eyes to open, I want her mouth to sass me, and I want her to tell me what to do. I love this woman more than my own life. Duncan takes her other hand and kisses the knuckles. I look at the nurse checking Ana’s vitals.
“When can I see my daughter?” I choke on the words, afraid of the rejection. Afraid of losing one of them. My eyes mist with tears.
“It'll be a bit longer. They need to monitor her more.” My heart stutters with worry over her, but I need to be here for my angel. I need to touch her and feel her skin against mine.
“Thank you.” I grab the chair and sit down, kissing Ana’s hand as I wait. The nurse walks out, leaving Duncan and I alone.
“Joshua, I'm going to see if Father or Maya want to come in next.” He hesitates. He had better not ask me to leave. I can't leave her side, she is my life.
“I'm staying here.”
“I know, I wasn't asking you to leave. Thank you for all you've done.”
“I love them both, I wouldn't think twice about giving my life for either of them. When she is healthy and her divorce done, I'm marrying her.”
“It will all work out, mate. I know how you feel and I can see how she feels about you.” He turns and walks out the door.
Everyone takes a turn coming to see Ana. They all kiss her, ask her to wake up, and take her hand in theirs. I never let go of her other hand, and feel the callouses from her drawing, the fragile bones so delicate in my hard work-roughened hands.
“Mr. Donovan, would you like to see your daughter?” a voice quietly says from the doorway.
