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“Yes, ma’am.” I kiss Ana's forehead and follow the nurse out.
Maya and Duncan stay with Ana. Everyone else but James has returned to the compound. James wanders between Ana’s room and the small chapel where I know he prays for her to not follow her mum.
I follow the nurse to the elevators and go up two floors. We come to an area, and the nurse turns to me.
“Mr. Donovan, head into that room and change into a set of clean scrubs. You can put your clothes in a locker and step back out.” I do as she said. When I step back out, she has me thoroughly wash my hands.
We enter a nursery where a few little ones are. She walks me through to another area where only two special beds are occupied. The tiny infant with a pink hat on her small head has all my attention. She has the tiniest diaper on. She's in a box with a warm light shining on her and what looks like little cloth sunglasses. There are tubes all over her and monitors all around her incubator.
“She was jaundice, so we started her on phototherapy. She doesn't have to stay there the whole time. You can reach in and touch her. Her lungs are doing better than we thought. She is only on a little oxygen going through her cannula. At thirty-six weeks her lungs could have been more developed, but because of your wife’s eclampsia, she is delayed. She's unyielding in her determination to get out of there,” a new nurse says to me. I look at how small and fragile she is. The amount of tubes and wires connected to her scares me, but the nurse's words calm me too.
“She’s just like her daddy.” I turn to see Jennifer walking in.
“Jennifer, thank you for saving them both.” I hug her.
At first, she just stands there, then her body softens and she hugs me back. I've missed this woman, she was like my little sister. Even if Ian doesn’t want her in his life, she will be in mine again.
“Josh, I'm so sorry for lying to you. I really need your help. If Ian won't talk to me, I need you. I've missed you so much.”
“You don't even have to ask. We're still and have always been friends. I've missed you too.”
“By the way, she looks like her mum. She's strong, and I'm glad I was here to help. Hold her hand. Touch her, that's what she needs. Oh and this wonderful nurse is Marge.”
“Oh stop, Dr. Parker,” the nurse says.
I reach into one of the holes, wrapping my hand around her tiny fist, and pray to God she's okay. She is so tiny, she wraps her little fist around one of my fingers. My heart stops in my chest. I love her with every fiber of my being. I'll protect her and her mum with my life. They’re precious to me. Her little grip tightens, and I whisper to her. “My Bella, please get stronger, Daddy loves you. You continue to fight. Your mum has fought so hard for you.”
“Is Bella her name,” the nurse asks. I see Jennifer looking at me with a smile.
“What's her name?” Jennifer asks.
“It's Isabella Cara Patrice Donovan.”
“I bet your mum is excited.”
“She doesn't know Isabella has her name yet. I haven't had a chance to tell her the middle names. She'll be excited though.”
“Well, Josh, I need to head home. I do need to talk to you when everything is settled,” Jennifer says.
“Yes, Dr. Parker, you have to rush home to your—”
“My new puppy,” Jennifer interrupts the nurse, giving her a stern look.
“What's going on, Jen?” I look at her quizzically. She's hiding something, and I remember she can't lie to me very well.
“Look, Josh, I want to tell you, but now isn't the time, and I really need to go. Bye.” She rushes from the room.
I spend some time with Isabella, then head back to Ana's room. When I get there, I see little has changed. Maya and Duncan take turns going up to see Isabella. Maya is excited about Isabella's middle name. I know my mum will be excited too.
I sit and hold Ana’s hand, silently praying for her to come back to me. I'm not sure what day it is or how much time has passed. I spend my time divided between my two loves. I talk to them both, hoping my voice soothes them and brings Ana back to me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ana
I hear a soft voice talking. “Ana? Angel, please come back to me. I need you. I can't live without you. Please, Angel, you're my salvation after all I've done. I love you and want to marry you, please come back to me.”
He's my salvation. I can't live without him. I hear beeping, but I don't hear the baby monitors. I start to feel my body coming back to its senses. I feel the change in my body. Oh God, where is my baby? I can't feel her moving in me. I feel hollow inside. My eyes snap open, and I start crying. I'm such a weak person. I couldn't even protect my baby from my own body. I start to move around, he instantly is looking in my eyes. How can he love me when I killed our daughter? I know he can read my pain as I start to thrash around on the bed.
