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His heart.
Because the assumption is that I’d be the one doing the breaking.
“No, I think I get it.” I drain the dregs of my chai. “Honestly, I’m a little jealous. You’re my brother, but you were more concerned with me hurting his feelings than the other way around.”
“Shit, I was. But it’s mostly because Sebastian’s too good a guy to believe he’d hurt you.”
I smile. “He is pretty amazing.”
“But I should have been a better brother. I want you to feel like you can come to me with things. Open up to me about what you’re dealing with. That’s what family does for each other.”
I swallow and nod.
“Was it something I did?” he asks, tentative. “That made you think I would judge you?”
Oh boy.
“It was, wasn’t it.” It’s not a question.
“Yes.”
Aiden curses under his breath.
It’s second nature to reassure him, to take it back, apologize, but I don’t. If I’m going to lean into this whole honesty thing, then I need to stand by what I say, even the difficult parts.
It’s time.
“I know you were looking out for me, I do, but you hardly ever gave me the chance to try. You always stepped in and did it for me, like you didn’t think I could.”
“Of course you can. We both know that.”
“No, I didn’t,” I say, hoping he will finally understand. “But I worked really hard to prove that I could.”
“I never wanted to be your parent, you know.” Aiden hangs his head. “I only ever wanted to be your brother, and hopefully, a friend. I’m sorry. I should have realized,but I never wanted you to struggle. You’re the smart one. I wanted to make sure you had everything you needed. If I’d known I was making you miserable…”
I lay my hand on his arm. “This isn’t your fault. I hid on purpose.”
“You moved across the country to get some peace, didn’t you?”
“Pretty much.”
“Shit, Bee. You should’ve been able to come to me, tell me this stuff.”
“It’s different with you.”
Outside, he stops beside the car, turns to me. “I’m sorry you had to leave to feel like yourself. I want you to be able to be real with me. Whoever that is. You’re my sister. I love you no matter what.”
“Even if I tell you that you can’t pull off chinos?”
To my immediate joy, he takes it for the joke it is. “I said be yourself, not be mean.”
“It’s the new me, and I tell the truth now.” My smile stretches from ear to ear. “Ask Sebastian.”
“I’m almost regretting setting you up now.”
“You can’t take credit for that. You had nothing to do with it.”
“Didn’t I?”
