Page 69 of You Are Not Me


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Scanning the list of song titles, I wrestled with myself, trying to decide if it was worth the money, or if I wanted to just send Adam a few snapshots I’d taken instead. Which reminded me, I needed to pick up my film from Foxx Photo sooner rather than later. There were still new photos of Daniel to be seen, and the pictures he’d taken of me.

Daniel squatted by my feet, scanning the display case for any other bootlegs he might be interested in.

“This a good recording?” he asked, tapping the glass across from a Fleetwood Mac bootleg disc.

“Sure,” Bloody Cross dude said with a sharp nod.

“Can I hear it?”

The guy pulled it out of the case, punched a few buttons on the CD player and amplifier stacked up on his desk, and handed Daniel a pair of giant headphones. He surprised me by offering, “It’s got a great ‘Rhiannon’ and a good ‘Landslide.’”

Daniel listened for a few seconds and then motioned for the guy to skip to the next track. “Here, what do you think?”

Daniel put the headphones on my head. Stevie Nicks’s scratched-up voice filled my ears, and it sounded great to me. I gave him a thumbs-up, and Daniel grinned.

“This one as good as that?” I asked, my voice overly loud with the music booming in my ears. I held up the Smiths disc.

“Want to hear?” the guy asked, scratching his belly and frowning at me.

“Nah,” I said, handing the headphones back to Daniel. “I’ll get it.”

“Big Smiths fan?” Daniel asked, digging in his own wallet for the twenty-nine dollars the guy wanted for the Fleetwood Mac boot.

“It’s for Adam,” I said softly, wanting to use his name as a shield against my feelings for Daniel, and then wanting to take the words back as soon as I’d said them.

Daniel stiffened. “Oh. Cool.”

We collected our purchases and stepped back out into the easing twilight, the sunset straining my eyes after the windowless store.

“Sorry,” I said.

“For what?”

I didn’t know what I was apologizing for either. For having a boyfriend? For leading Daniel on? For breaking the spell between us by invoking Adam’s name?

“I’m just sorry.”

“Me too,” Daniel said earnestly and slipped his arm around my shoulders. “We’ll be okay.” He smiled down at me. “Just stop being so hot. That’ll make it easier for me.”

My stomach flipped again. “What?Youstop being hot!” I laughed, my heart soaring. “I’m not hot.”

Daniel shook his head. “You know that’s not true.”

I swallowed and closed my eyes, letting him guide me down the sidewalk. When I opened them again, the world was dazzling. “I don’t know why you’re into me.”

“Do you want me to make a list?”

The traffic on Cumberland screamed by, and I half hoped he wouldn’t hear me when I said, “Yeah. Why not?”

“Number one: your eyes. Number two: your laugh.” He threw up his hands, laughing. “Number three: I never know what to expect from you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re a constant surprise. I never expected you and then you showed up at Robert’s, and I knew the second I saw you that I wanted to know you better. Since then, you just keep surprising me. You’re a conundrum, and I want to solve you. And I want to get you naked.”

I spluttered and nearly tripped, but he grabbed my elbow.

“Oh, and I like how you never see anything coming either.” He laughed again. “You’re constantly surprised by the world. It makes me want to…”

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